One week ago, proposal 8565, "Popularity Contest", passed. Thereupon, I won the game. Now that its resolution has self-ratified, I am prepared to deliver my ascension address to the people of Agora.
You are all absolute fools. You have made the mistake of giving me power, and now that I have it, I shall never relinquish it. I will grind the game of Agora under my heel, using it as part of my plot to bring down conquest upon nomics everywhere. I will become your emperor, and command and destroy at my whim, as you cower in the terror of my... Wait. Sorry, I think I pulled out the wrong speech. Let me start over. Thank you Agorans. I am truly honored that you have seen fit to crown me as victor of the popularity contest. I could not have done it without your loyal support. Now that I have been recognized for my outstanding awesomeness and coolness (/j), I think it is time for me to thank those who have assisted me in this endeavor. I cause the rule "Popularity Contest" to grant patent titles as follows: To ATMunn, Aris, Cuddle Beam, G., Jason, Murphy, Trigon, and cuddlybanana, the patent title "Popular", for their support in voting FOR my proposal. To ATMunn, the patent title "Popular Philanthropist", for asking only for a patent title when offered a monetary incentive to lend eir aid. To Jason and Trigon, the patent title "Very Popular", for giving me the advice that allowed me to complete my ascension. The same title to myself, because I also came up with a bunch of the schemes, and also because it allows me to do a nice title pyramid. To myself, the patent title "Most Popular", as the victor of the popularity contest. Furthermore, I give 50 coins each to ATMunn, Cuddle Beam, G., Murphy, and cuddlybanana, and 100 coins each to Trigon and Jason. This isn't part of any deal, I just feel like it. Let me know if I've missed any obligations I can currently fulfill. Finally, thanks again everyone for your help and support. -Aris
