Hi Dawn, Line is
Stream Control: A shorthand for Updatea Strem Control Service. This is just before the section 4. Regards, Kerim On Wed, Jul 4, 2018 at 6:00 PM, Dawn Chan <[email protected]> wrote: > Hi Kerim, > > I go through the document but did not find the spelling error: Page 6, > Paragraph 2, Line 1: Update Stream Control (spelling), could you please > show more words maybe a sentence? > > Thanks, > Dawn > > ________________________________________ > From: alto <[email protected]> on behalf of Kerim Gokarslan < > [email protected]> > Sent: Wednesday, July 4, 2018 2:21:26 AM > To: Vijay K. Gurbani > Cc: IETF ALTO > Subject: Re: [alto] WGLC for draft-ietf-alto-incr-update-sse-11 > > Dear Vijay and WG, > > I finished reviewing the draft-ietf-alto-incr-update-ssef document > (version 12). I think the language of the document and the design is clean > and complete. I didn't see any major technical issue (or design errors) but > I marked some small issues like spelling and punctuation errors, which can > be seen as 'nits'. > > > Page 4, Paragraph 3, Line 3: provides -> provide (noun is plural) > > Page 4, Paragraph 4, Line 6: satsify -> satisfy (spelling) > > Page 6, Paragraph 2, Line 7: sends -> send > > Page 6, Paragraph 2, Line 1: Update Stream Control (spelling) > > Page 12, Section 4.3.1, Line 1: the difference (missing the) > > Page 15, Paragraph 3, Line 6: An data -> a data > > Page 15, Paragraph 4, Line 1: A update -> an update > > Page 15, Paragraph 4, Line 2: life time -> lifetime > > Page 17, Last Paragraph, Line 3: an URI -> a URI > > Page 26, Section 9.1 Paragraph 3, Line 1: Also note -> Also, note (missing > comma) > > Page 28, Section 9.2 Paragraph 1, Line 10: Thus server -> Thus, server > (missing comma) > > Page 30, Paragraph 2, Line 2: a ipv4 -> an ipv4 > > Page 40, Paragraph 2, Line 3: Unfortunately there -> Unfortunately, there > (missing comma) > > Page 42, Paragraph 1, Line 2: First consider -> First, consider (missing > comma) > > Page 42, Section 11.4 Paragraph 1, Line 7: extention -> extension > (spelling) > > Page 42, Section 12.1: I think the first paragraph is a little confusing, > maybe the idea can be specified more explicit. > > Page 44, Paragraph 3, Line 1: Alternatively an -> Alternatively, an > (missing comma) > > Regards, > Kerim Gokarslan > > > On Mon, Jul 2, 2018 at 3:43 PM, Vijay K. Gurbani <[email protected]< > mailto:[email protected]>> wrote: > Kerim: Great, thanks a lot for volunteering. > > Please post your review on the WG email list. > > I suspect that you are getting acquainted with IETF processes; in that > vein, here's some quick advice that I hope will help you as you perform > a WGLC. > > A WGLC covers the entire I-D, you can point out anything in the draft > that you feel needs to be improved. Generally speaking, every reviewer > has their own style of performing WGLC reviews, you can see some > examples here [1, 2]. However, all reviews should include issues that > are 'major' (needs attention of author AND WG to moving the work ahead), > minor (may only need the attention of author to clarify things), and > 'nits' (needs attention of authors only). It is okay if one or more of > these categories is empty, however, due diligence must be done to ensure > that there were indeed no issues to raise under that particular category. > > [1] https://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/alto/current/msg03581.html > [2] https://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/alto/current/msg03513.html > > Cheers, > > On 07/02/2018 05:30 PM, Kerim Gokarslan wrote: > > Hi Vijay, > > > > I talked with Richard and I would like to help with a review. > > > > Regards, > > Kerim Gokarslan > > > > On Mon, Jul 2, 2018 at 3:12 PM, Y. Richard Yang <[email protected]<mailto: > [email protected]> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>>> wrote: > > > > Dear WG, > > > > The authors have gone ahead to fix the coupling issue between update > > stream and stream control. To allow the community to read what the > > document reads like, we have uploaded the newer version, which can > > be found at: > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-alto-incr-update-sse/ > > <https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-alto-incr-update-sse/> > > Please see version 12. > > > > It is a much cleaner, modular, complete design. Last-call feedbacks, > > of course, are still highly appreciated and the authors will update > > as soon as possible, to improve on reactiveness. > > > > Thanks a lot! > > Richard > > > > > > On Mon, Jul 2, 2018 at 11:09 AM Vijay K. Gurbani > > <[email protected] <mailto:[email protected]<mailto: > [email protected]>>> wrote: > > > > Richard, one of them must provide a WGLC review for the draft. > > The WG > > must to due diligence through dedicated reviews to ensure that > > the work > > reflects the consensus of the WG. > > > > I will like to see new members to start contributing to the WG, > > as such > > while my preference would be for Danny to review the draft and > > post WGLC > > comments, I will leave it to the WG members to decide who will > > review it. > > > > I was hesitant to ask Sabine and Jensen since, in all fairness, > they > > have done their share of reviews and comments over the years. I > > iterate, it would be great if other members of the WG step up to > > move > > the work ahead. > > > > >From a process point of view, I realize that the cutoff is > > today so I am > > expecting that we will not be in time to submit a version. > However, > > that is fine as long as we have a WGLC on the currently > > submitted draft > > by the time we have our meeting on Monday, Jul-16. > > > > After the meeting, I can do the proto-writeup and move the work > > ahead. > > > > Cheers, > > > > On 07/02/2018 09:46 AM, Y. Richard Yang wrote: > > > Vijay, > > > > > > The ideas that I posted were discussed with Sabine, Jensen, > > and Danny, > > > who are not co-authors of the document. > > > > > > I assume that they are busy today, as 8 pm ET today is IETF > draft > > > deadline. Maybe they can help with our review tomorrow (July > > 3) or the > > > day after tomorrow (July 4), before the close :-) > > > > > > Thanks! > > > Richard > > > > > > > > > > > > On Mon, Jul 2, 2018 at 9:34 AM Vijay K. Gurbani > > <[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> > > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected] > > > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>>>> > wrote: > > > > > > Folks: Following up on Richard's email, we need a > > dedicated WGLC review > > > for SSE from the WG. Jan and I will like to invite at > > least one person > > > who is not an author to volunteer to review the draft as > > part of WGLC. > > > > > > Thus far, besides Richard's email, there has not been any > > review or > > > comments on the draft since it was released for WGLC. We > > will need to > > > be more proactive as a WG to move pending work ahead. > > > > > > Please send me and Jan a message on whether you are able > > to perform a > > > review of the draft in short order so we can move it ahead > > > expeditiously.. > > > > > > Thank you, > > > > > > On 07/01/2018 10:32 PM, Y. Richard Yang wrote: > > > > Dear WG, > > > > > > > > Thanks a lot for those who already sent comments to the > > authors! As an > > > > important service, this document can benefit from > > in-depth reviews, as > > > > Vijay pointed out. > > > > > > > > The main substantive comment so far is on clarifying the > > coupling > > > > between the Update Stream Service (USS), which will be > > used by the > > > > network to send SSE Update Messages to a client, and the > > Update Stream > > > > Control Service (USCS), which will be used by the client > to > > > control the > > > > server, by sending add/remove of resources messages. In > > the current > > > > design, SSE update messages can provide the final > > outcome of a control > > > > request. The comment was whether this is a generic > design. > > > > > > > > After extensive discussions among the authors, we > > propose to make the > > > > following revisions---these revisions will be simple and > > clean, and if > > > > approved by the WG, they can be updated right away: > > > > > > > > M1. The document clarifies that USS uses a *modular* > > design, in > > > that the > > > > Update Stream Service (USS) is a modular service. Hence, > > it can be > > > > controlled by not only USCS but also other potential > > control channels, > > > > such as a private control protocol. Hence, the messaging > > of USS, in > > > > particular, its Control Update Messages, should be > > (slightly) > > > revised to > > > > reflect this spirit. > > > > > > > > M2. The document clarifies that USS uses a > > self-contained design, to > > > > take advantage that current design can be simply, > elegantly > > > extended to > > > > also report error updates. > > > > > > > > The authors request that the WG approve these edits so > > that the > > > authors > > > > can proceed to submit a revision shortly, in just a > > couple days. > > > > > > > > Of course, the authors will also wait for other > > comments, until > > > the July > > > > 4th closing, to make a single, coherent edit. > > > > > > > > Thank you so much! > > > > Richard > > > > > > > > On Wed, Jun 20, 2018 at 11:21 AM Vijay K. Gurbani > > > > <[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected] > >>> > > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:vijay.gurbani@ > nokia.com> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected] > >>>>> > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > All: This email announces the WGLC for SSE [1]; the > > WGLC runs > > > from Wed, > > > > Jun 20, 2018 to Wed, Jul 4, 2018. > > > > > > > > We will like the community members to perform an > > in-depth > > > review of the > > > > draft and post their comments, concerns or approval > > to the > > > mailing list > > > > during this period, even if it is one liner > > expressing support for > > > > moving the draft ahead. > > > > > > > > [1] > > https://tools.ietf..org/html/draft-ietf-alto-incr-update-sse-11< > https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-incr-update-sse-11> > > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-incr-update-sse-11> > > > > > > > > Thank you, > > > > > > > > - vijay > > > > -- > > > > Vijay K. Gurbani / [email protected]<mailto: > [email protected]> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> > > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:vijay.gurbani@ > nokia.com> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected] > >>> > > > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto: > [email protected]> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>>>> > > > > Network Data Science, Nokia Networks > > > > Calendar: http://goo.gl/x3Ogq > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > > > alto mailing list > > > > [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> <mailto: > alto@ietf.<mailto:alto@ietf.>.org> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> <mailto: > [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>>> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> <mailto: > [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> > > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> <mailto: > [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>>>> > > > > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto > > <https://www.ietf..org/mailman/listinfo/alto> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - vijay > > > -- > > > Vijay K. Gurbani / [email protected]<mailto: > [email protected]> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> > > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:vijay.gurbani@ > nokia.com> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected] > >>> > > > Network Data Science, Nokia Networks > > > Calendar: http://goo.gl/x3Ogq > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > -- > > > ===================================== > > > | Y. Richard Yang <[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> <mailto: > [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>>>> | > > > | Professor of Computer Science | > > > | http://www.cs.yale.edu/~yry/ | > > > ===================================== > > > > - vijay > > -- > > Vijay K. Gurbani / [email protected]<mailto: > [email protected]> > > <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> > > Network Data Science, Nokia Networks > > Calendar: http://goo.gl/x3Ogq > > > > > > > > -- > > -- > > ===================================== > > | Y. Richard Yang <[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> <mailto: > [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>>> | > > | Professor of Computer Science | > > | http://www.cs.yale.edu/~yry/ | > > ===================================== > > > > _______________________________________________ > > alto mailing list > > [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> <mailto:[email protected]<mailto:a > [email protected]>> > > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto > > <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto> > > > > > > - vijay > -- > Vijay K. Gurbani / [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> > Network Data Science, Nokia Networks > Calendar: http://goo.gl/x3Ogq > >
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