Dear Danny, Thank you so much for the excellent review. We are working on them and will get a version by Tuesday.
Richard On Mon, Feb 17, 2020 at 12:20 PM Danny Alex Lachos Perez < [email protected]> wrote: > Dear authors, > > I have performed a review of this draft (-09). > My comments are below: > > 1) Section 2.2 > > "Application-Layer Traffic Optimization (ALTO) [RFC7285 > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc7285>] is an > approach for guiding the resource provider selection process in > distributed applications that can choose among several candidate > resources providers to retrieve a given resource. By conveying > network layer (topology) information, an ALTO server can provide > important information to "guide" the resource provider selection > process in distributed applications." > > The two paragraphs are very similar in content, consider merging. E.g.: > "Application-Layer Traffic Optimization (ALTO) [RFC7285] is an approach > for conveying network layer (topology) information to "guide" the resource > provider selection process in distributed applications." > > 2) Section 2.2 > > "Recently, however, ALTO is > also being considered for improving the request routing in CDNs > [I-D.jenkins-alto-cdn-use-cases > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.jenkins-alto-cdn-use-cases>]." > > The reference dates from 2012 and it is an expired draft > > > 3) Section 2.2 > > "This would enable a uCDN to > > determine if a given dCDN actually has the capabilities for a > given request with respect to the type of content requested." > > Wordy sentence, consider rewriting: e.g., "This would enable a uCDN to > determine if a dCDN actually has the capabilities for a given type of > content request." > > > 4) Section 2.1 > > " related to CDNI Metadata. > > o" > > Remove last bullet (there is no text) > > > 5) Introduction > > "instead of getting the full resource which can be huge. Section 6 > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-6>" > > Consider adding a comma: "instead of getting the full resource*,* which > can be huge. Section 6" > > > 6) Introduction > > "Section 7 > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-7> > and Section 8 > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-8> > respectively." > > Consider adding a comma: "Section 7 and Section 8, respectively." > > > 7) Section 2.2 > > " in particular for an FCI protocol: > > o" > > Remove bullet (there is no text) > > > 8) Section 4.2.4 > > "In this example, the ALTO client is interested in changes of "my- > cdnifci-with-pid-footprints". Considering two changes, the first one" > > Consider rewriting: "In this example, the ALTO client is interested in two > changes of "my- cdnifci-with-pid-footprints". The first one" > > 9) Section 2.2 > > "design of ALTO supports server pushed incremental updates > > [I-D.ietf-alto-incr-update-sse > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.ietf-alto-incr-update-sse>].." > > Consider updating the reference > > sse-17 -> sse-19 > > > 10) Section 2.2 > > " ALTO Path > Vector Extension [I-D.ietf-alto-path-vector > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.ietf-alto-path-vector>] > is designed to allow" > > Consider updating the reference > > vector-08 -> vector-09 > > > 11) Section 2.2 > > "footprint by a dCDN, in particular > if such a footprint is being" > > Consider adding a comma: "... in particular*,* if such ..." > > > 12) Section 2.2 > > "would enable a dCDN to directly inform a uCDN about such changes." > > Consider rewriting: "to directly inform a uCDN about such changes" -> "to > inform a uCDN about such changes directly" > > > 13) Section 3.6 > > "value and footprints, where footprints are defined in " > > Consider adding a comma: "... value, and footprints ..." > > > 14) Section 5.6 > > "an full CDNI FCI resource (See Section 3.6 > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-3.6>.)" > > "an full" -> a full > > > 15) Section 6 > > "CDNI capabilities, the most natrual way to satisfy this requirement" > > "natrual" -> "natural" > > > 16) Section 6 > > " is to use the ALTO property map defined in > [I-D.ietf-alto-unified-props-new > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.ietf-alto-unified-props-new>]." > > Consider updating the reference > > new-09 -> new-10 > > > 17) Section 6.1.1.2 > > "The entity identifiers of entities in an asn domain is encoded as a" > > Consider changing the verb form: "The entity identifiers of entities in an > asn domain *are* encoded..." > > > 18) Section 6.1.2.2 > > "The entity identifiers of entities in a countrycode domain is encoded" > > Consider changing the verb form: "The entity identifiers of entities in a > countrycode domain *are* encoded..." > > > 19) Section 7.1 > > "A new footprint type is to be registred" > > Typo: "registred" -> registered > > 20) Section 7.3 > > "property type is to be registred, listed in Table 3." > > Typo: "registred" -> registered > > > 21) Section 8 > > "Security Considerations (Section 15 > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-15>) > of the base protocol fully apply" > > Consider fixing the link "Section 15" > > > 22) Section 8 > > "expoing all full/filtered CDNI FCI resources in one of its IRDs." > > "expoing" -> "exposing" > > > Best regards, > > Danny Lachos > > > On Mon, Feb 3, 2020 at 1:06 PM Vijay Gurbani <[email protected]> > wrote: > >> All: Jan and I will like to start WGLC for >> draft-ietf-cdni-request-routing-alto-09. The WGLC period will run from >> Mon, >> Feb 3 2020 to Wed, Feb 19 2020. >> >> This email is also being cross-posted to the CDNI working group. >> >> We will like to have one WG list member from ALTO and one WG list member >> from >> CDNI review this draft in depth. Please send Jan and me an email if you >> are willing >> review the draft as part of WGLC. >> >> In addition, we will like general reviews of the draft from both ALTO and >> CDNI WGs. >> >> Thank you. >> _______________________________________________ >> alto mailing list >> [email protected] >> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto >> > _______________________________________________ > alto mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto > -- Richard
_______________________________________________ alto mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto
