I'll add my own.

Them:

I am sorry to inform you that I did not purchase your app ,but since I
lost my phone I can not return the app myself. If there is any way you
can uninstall it from the phone at the number ###########. Thank you
and sorry for any incoveniences

Me:

I am sad that you didn’t like the app, but I am more sad that your
phone went missing. Sorry, I don’t have remote access to the phone –
otherwise, I’d help you find it. The demo will expire of its own
accord, so no worries about that.

Nathan

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