Hi, William and Brian, Thanks for your review. I would not draw a conclusion before November 3rd. That gives one week extra time. If that's still not enough, I suggest you to express the major point first. The details could be come later. They could be addressed together with the comments received during IETF-scope review and IESG review.
Regards, Sheng > -----Original Message----- > From: Anima [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of William Atwood > Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2017 10:36 AM > To: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [Anima] WGLC on draft-ietf-anima-autonomic-control-plane-12 - > Respond by October 28th, 2017, > > Hello, > > These are my technical comments on this draft, for the first 32 pages. > Given the length of the document, I do not expect to be able to finish it by > October 28, so I second Brian's request for additional time. > > Bill > > 1) The definition of "ANI" in Section 2 says that it includes ACP, BRSKI and > GRASP. The statement of Requirements in Section 4 says: > > "ACP4: The ACP MUST be generic. ... It MUST NOT be tied to a particular > application or transport protocol." > > These two statements are in conflict, because the ANI as defined in this > document clearly depends on GRASP. > > 2) As a specification, Step 4 in Section 5 is terrible. Step 3 explicitly > includes > the "for-loop". Step 4 then shifts to the perspective of an individual peer > relationship, and uses the singular in the first sentence. It then shifts > again to > the plural for the second sentence. Suggested text: > > "4. For each node in the candidate peer list, it then establishes a secure > tunnel > of the negotiated type. The resulting tunnels are then placed into the > previously set up VRF. This creates an overlay network with hop-by-hop > tunnels." > > 3) In Section 6.1.1, in the comment on "routing-subdomain", it says, <<"rsub" > is > optional and should only be used when its impacts are understood.>> Who > must do the understanding? What is the test for "understanding"? Is this a > statement that "rsub" should not be used until the WG has done more work, or > until the reader has read this document 42 times, or ?? For a normative > section of this document, this is remarkably ambiguous. > > 4) In Section 6.2.3, para 1, line 3, "must" -> "MUST" (I believe that this > requirement should be normative.) > > 5) In Section 6.7.2, para 2, line 4, "and not permit" -> "and MUST NOT permit" > (The implied dependence on the previous "MUST" should be made > explicit.) > > 6) In Section 6.8.2, para 2, I was puzzled by the statement that the ACP could > exist in the absence of any active ACP neighbors, since the ACP is only > created > with the help of a neighbor that is already a member of the domain. I then > realized that domain membership (and its accompanying domain certificate) > could be established while a neighbor was active, and then the neighbor could > vanish. I suggest adding some text to make this sequence of events clear. > Suggestion: "It is created when the node has a domain certificate, and > continues to exist even if all of its neighbors cease operation." > > > On 15/10/2017 4:59 AM, Sheng Jiang wrote: > > Hi all, > > > > > > > > This message starts the two-week ANIMA Working Group Last Call to > > advance draft-ietf-anima-autonomic-control-plane-12, An Autonomic > > Control Plane (ACP). This document's intended status is Standards Track. > > At present, there is one IPR file against this document, see below link. > > > > > > > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/ipr/2407/ > > > > > > > > Please send your comments by October 28th, 2017. If you do not feel > > this document should advance, please state your reasons why. > > > > > > > > Sheng JIANG is the assigned document shepherd. > > > > > > > > Regards, > > > > > > > > Sheng (co-chair, Toerless who as a co-author stayed neutral on the > > content side) > > > > > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Anima mailing list > > [email protected] > > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/anima > > > > -- > > Dr. J.W. Atwood, Eng. tel: +1 (514) 848-2424 x3046 > Distinguished Professor Emeritus fax: +1 (514) 848-2830 > Department of Computer Science > and Software Engineering > Concordia University EV 3.185 email:[email protected] > 1455 de Maisonneuve Blvd. West http://users.encs.concordia.ca/~bill > Montreal, Quebec Canada H3G 1M8 > > _______________________________________________ > Anima mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/anima _______________________________________________ Anima mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/anima
