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----- Original Message -----
From: John Clancy
Sent: Friday, January 04, 2002 12:02 AM
Subject: Michael Moore:Hail George-Conqueror of Evildoers
from: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
 

:Michael Moore:
Hail George,Conqueror of Evildoers!

Dear George W. Bush:
Hats off to you, sir, for a job well done! The Soviets tried for
ten years to do what it took you only two months to
accomplish in Afghanistan. How did you do that? It's funny how
a couple months ago there were all these Taliban, and now --
there aren't any! You must be some kind of super magician --
almost as good at disappearing acts as ol' Osama (or, as they
say on the Fox Nuisance Channel, "Usama" -- I like their
spelling better, like "We put the 'USA' in USAma!"). He did
exist, didn't he? I would hate to have gotten myself all worked
up over the wrong evildoer! I loved that last tape of his, the
home video of his sleepover with that sheik. What a party
animal, that guy!

And how 'bout that Northern Alliance! Thanks to them, my
weekly supply of heroin will finally be reinstated. Whoo-hoo --
and just in time for New Year's Rockin' Eve! Those Taliban
simply did NOT have the best delivery system for the stuff,
kinda like why you never see Beaman's gum anymore -- poor
distribution and shelf placement. According to the New York
Times, the Northern Alliance has put all the poppy farmers back
to work, and they are promising a "bumper crop" by spring.
But Mr. Bush, I am most impressed with how you have used
those who died on September 11th to justify your lining the
pockets of your rich friends and campaign contributors. Your
"Economic Stimulus Bill" -- pure genius! You actually got the
House of Representatives to pass a bill eliminating the law that
said corporations have to pay at least a token minimum tax
every year.

See, most people forget that back in your daddy's day (when
he was VP) thousands of companies were able to lawyer their
way out of paying any taxes at all! Then a law was passed to
stop that. Now you got the House to agree to give all these
corporations back ALL the minimum taxes they have paid since
1986!! That's $140 billion of givebacks ($1.4 billion to IBM, a
billion to Ford, $800 million to GM, etc.). And you got this
passed, all under the guise of "September 11th!" How do you
get away with this without the American public whoopin' your
behind? Man, you are THE MAN!

Hey, and tell your top sheriff, Big John Ashcroft, that his refusal
to let the FBI look at the files of gun background checks that
the Justice Department keeps -- to see if any of the terrorists
or suspected terrorists have purchased weapons in the past
two years -- took some balls! Even though checking those files
might turn up information that could protect us in possible
future attacks, Ashcroft was more concerned with not
upsetting the NRA than in helping his own FBI catch the bad
guys. Now that's what I call getting your priorities straight. Big
John may have lost his Senate seat last year to a dead guy,
but he sure as heck ain't gonna lose me as a huge admirer!
Well, I better go before someone from the Office of Homeland
Security mistakes me for someone who needs to be
"interviewed!" Rest assured I'm doing my part for the country
by shopping my sorry ass off in this week before Christmas.
Buy! Buy! Buy! Tora! Tora! Tora! Bora! Whoo-hoo, Prince O'
Peace!! Fight Team Fight! Go get 'em, George, Jr. -- we're
counting on you to kill all evildoers!

Yours,
Michael Moore
Third in Line to the King of Afghanistan
www.michaelmoore.com
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

P.S. You'll beat that Enron rap, just like you beat your other raps!
Chin up!  Who needs "energy traders" anyway? I never saw that job
on the list from my high school counselor!! 
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