O'Mahanta,
I agree with you. "Home" is where you make it. Some of the Desis are totally comfortable being in USA or UK, and some are always talking about going back "Home". I think it all depends on the person. Like another question Kamal posed earlier, there is no definite yes or no answer.
Some immigrants, even when they do not take part in the mainstream community, feel completely at "Home" living in New Jersey for example, with their small little family. Then I saw , in my childhood, families from "Upper Assam" in Guwahati who never felt at "Home". I am basically saying the same thing that you were saying.
O'Deka
Chan Mahanta <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Hi Kamal:
I think it would be a futile effort to pursue the idea of 'total
assimilation' as you describe it, as a measure of finding oneself
"completely at home".
Rajib touched on that point already. Take MY case for example:
** I grew up in an island in my village environment. Why island? That is
because our father was extremely fearful of us growing up in the
environment surrounding us. The attitudes, the severley constrained
outlooks, the superstitions, the prejudices - all. He took enormous pains
to make sure we steered clear of them.
And to accomplish it we were restricted from participating in almost all of
the neighborhood's social life. We were, for all practical purporses,
"eghoria". In the beginning it was imposed on our parents, when they
returned to the village after years at Jorhat town, due to THEIR attitude! s
and outlooks that were in conflict with the local establishment's. Later it
became our family's CHOICE. A drastic and strident measure, that DID
deprive us of certain aspects of life. But they did what they thought would
be in their children's best interests. And life has proven, they were
correct to a large extent, even though in hindsight, I might have done it
somewhat differently.
In fact, we partcipate in local social life in St. Louis far more than we
ever did at my village.
But my village still holds a lot of goodwill towards me and I to it. It WAS
HOME. And St. Louis IS HOME now. Am I at ease here? Yes I am. Do I long to
return to Namti? Yes--for visiting. I cannot go back there and be
"completely at home" any more, in a way that I could COMPLETELY BELONG. We
have been remolded.
My three or four years at Guwahati, first as a hostel kid, later as a
transient, never allowed me to cultivate a sense of HOME there. Five and a
half years of hostel life at Kharagpur and a couple of years at Kolkata was
no different. If I were to be at Chennai today, it will be far more of an
alien environment to me than USA was when I first arrived here in 1970.
Similarly for Mumbai or Delhi.
We have a good friend/relation originally from Guwahati, senior to us, who
have lived in Delhi for over 30 years. They are cosmopolitan in attitude
and liberal of outlook. They tell us they are complete aliens in their
upscale Gurgaon environment, like they always were elsewhere in Delhi. Oh
sure they have friends and get along with neighbors and all. But they feel
they are fish out of water. Funny thing is that they will be so at Guwahati
too, if they return there tomorrow.
** My point? In today's world, with the kind of background we have and the
attitude of world citizenship we like to aspire to, home is where we wish
to make it. It is upto us to make it a "complete home"! or one that is torn
between two or more cultures, separated by geography, isolated from an
environment of close extended families.
The dichotomies, the alienations, the conflicts of identities and the
forces that assault one's sense of belonging will be there no matter WHERE
we are.
How we deal or cope with them, therefore would decide HOW much we are at
HOME, where we are.
c-da
At 10:59 AM -0500 2/22/04, [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
>In a message dated 2/22/04 8:00:56 AM Central Standard Time,
>[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
>
>
>
>
> Before we can delve into the subject, we must define HOME.<<
>
>
>
> Permit me to use "assamese ex-patriates" as a metaphor to define
>"Home"---in a sense of total assimilation,integration or
>adaptation.Abroad,they have to forge a new identity for
>themselves,individually and as a commun! ity.It seems to me that their
>identity is tied to their culture,but it is not the same as it was at
>"home" ( Assam )--it has to address the new community directly and situate
>itself within that milieu.The scenario of assamese,living elsewhere in
>India, is somewhat different--a home within a bigger home.But here in the
>US or UK,we,the immigrants, tend to mix old ones to create complex new
>unities.I really wonder if this is the semiotic of total assimilation--a
>sense of feeling "completely at home".
> KJD
>
>
>
>
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