Re: I Have a Very Weird Question
That...uh, that's kind of not how that works. Please, please don't take the previous poster's advice. You might be a hell of a guy, but that is actively -not good advice. Like it's potentially harmful.
Yes, it is a form of anxiety. Yes, a lot of people experience it (post 2 hits on this). There's a reward mechanism in the way social media and forums and such are set up, in that our brains are kind of hard-wired to hope for responses when we reply to things, or create things. The problem is, if we don't have other worthwhile stimuli, we can become dependent on this reward mechanism far too much. And by "we", I mean the group of individuals who uses the internet a lot, and tends to get a lot of social validation from online sources.
Where I'm going to disagree really firmly with the previous poster is the bit about how you should just do no wrong by one particular person. This is downright toxic, and is one of many signs of what is generally known as borderline personality disorder. Please note that I am not accusing you or anyone else of anything, and I am not a mental health professional, and as such, this is by no means a diagnosis or anything even approaching such; but this behaviour is not ideal and not safe, as it represents unacceptable levels of attachment and dependency. If you put all your hopes and anxieties on one other person this way, you are apt to make them feel overwhelmed or responsible for you in ways they shouldn't have to. It's great to respect someone else's opinion and it's a good idea to generally want to do well by those you care about; this stance, in moderation, is extremely healthy. Where I get really uncomfortable is the "do no wrong" thing, combined with the "pick one person" thing. It does not sound to me like anything approaching a coping strategy that's going to render good results.
Instead, here's what I suggest:
1. When you find yourself growing anxious or excited or nervous, jot down what you're thinking as exactly as you can. We absolutely do not need to see this; this is for your reference alone. Later, go and reread what you wrote, if you can, and see if you can analyze your own thought patterns in retrospect.
2. Try and isolate the sources of your feelings. If it only happens on one forum, or with one user/person/friend/relative/topic, for instance. Step 1 may help with this, particularly if you can take multiple events and cross-reference them for repeated thought, stimulus or behaviour patterns. Doing this may cause you to realize that a particular person, subject or other factor is influencing your anxiety specifically, and if this is the case, you may be able to mitigate it somewhat. For instance, if you know that being overtired means your anxiety is more apt to bother you, then try and avoid these social interactions when you're overtired; play a game, have a bath or shower, cuddle a pet if you have one, or just sleep instead of spurring the anxiety to hit you when you're vulnerable.
3. If you find that you're just getting too wound up in forums and social media overall, and you can't point to any single stimulus or cluster of them, perhaps a break is in order. One to two weeks should be a good place to start. And by "break", I don't mean that you can't use any electronics at all. But maybe stay away from public venues where these feelings of nervousness or anxiety stem from. Do that for a pre-set amount of time, and try not to cheat. Then come back to one or more of the venues or situations that normally cause anxiety, write down how you feel during or after the experience, and see if there has been any change at all.
If after that time you still have anxiety and discomfort, and particularly if steps 1 and 2 also didn't do you any good, it might be a good time to talk to someone qualified about this. A little excitement or anticipation when you get a new message or see a new reply is normal, but if it's a big enough deal that it is worrying you or causing distress, that's something to be watched and possibly worked on.
But please, for heaven's sake don't go attaching yourself like a limpet to the approval (or lack thereof) of one person or group. That's a really excellent way to ride a roller-coaster you very likely want no part of.
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