Re: This title needs to go
Okay. I'll bite.
You're right. You don't have to be a five-star chef to know that a meal sucks. so for you, personally, to feel that this text is too small a deal to make an issue of is absolutely 100% okay. Where it comes to you, you don't have to object to the text or even to understand why someone else is.
To stay consistent with your analogy, what you and others are doing right now is saying that because you enjoyed this five-star meal, Haily can't say that it sucks and shouldn't send it back. Put another way, you are superimposing your tolerances onto Haily, and that's not cool. You're basically saying that if you and others aren't bothered by this, Haily shouldn't be either.
You're ostensibly visually impaired, right? If you own a cane, does it ever bother you when people grab it out of nowhere and try to guide you? Or how about being yanked by the arm, or assumed to need help when you don't? If you have a guide dog, does it bug you when people pet your guide dog without asking? When you're walking more slowly than other people, and folks yell out directions you don't need, does it annoy you sometimes? Do you ever find that people treat you like a child, and if so, doesn't it bug the almighty snot out of you? Does the experience of being visually impaired in any way bother you, ever? Because I can tell you it bothers me sometimes, and I can further tell you that if I'm having a rough go of it, or have had a lot of difficulty being blind lately for some reason (new route, difficult people, any number of things), someone coming up and saying "I don't see what you're so upset about" is going to annoy me. Who the hell are you to tell me when and where and why I should be annoyed? Get over yourself.
Mix and match your disabilities and your life experience, by the way. If you're black, maybe casual racism bothers you. If you're female, maybe sexism bothers you.
Now how would you enjoy being told to just get over it by someone when you said you wished thing x didn't affect you and should stop?
Now, I'll double down for a sec.
When it comes to gender identity and exual preference, people seem to really put their chips down where it comes to the superimposition of their own morals or tolerances on other people. As such, based on what I've heard, learned, read and come to understand from many people in my life who have shared personal anecdotes, I've come to accept that trans people, in particular, are almost always being bombarded in a hundred small ways to be a certain way, act a certain way, turn the other cheek, to just fucking deal with it because they're weird and the world is still getting used to it, or however you want to phrase it. You know how it's often said by black people that they're expected to bear the burden of educating white people and helping them manage their guilt? Yeah, trans people have it pretty bad in this regard as well, from everything I've seen. And if you're a young trans woman who has only fairly recently made her transition, if you're already a bit emotionally volatile, if you've already felt that the community (or parts of it) have attacked you needlessly by using your deadname and such? Yeah...to expect Haily to have the exact same thick skin as everyone else is not reasonable. To assume you know why she's upset is equally ridiculous. Stop placing your expectations on her this way. You probably wouldn't like it if it were done to you. Show some freaking empathy.
I've seen this literally dozens of times, and I've called it every single time. You can dance all day, but you're still stuck in the corner. My advice is to just accept that you've overstepped yourself a bit, take a pace or two backward, and ask yourself why it seemed necessary to condemn this action when its result would have zero impact on you.
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