Trying to get on my feet independently
So I would like to ask some of the older, experienced people here who have been through the bullshit for some wisdom. I still live in my parents home with my grandfather, I'm 20 years old at the moment. Since 18, due to my lack of wanting to deal with the wonderful world of shitty stressful grind jobs I have been living off SSI. Long story short, monotony of being here, and life in general, is starting to get to me. Nevermind this whole covid mess. I'm fucking bored, to be blunt. I'm also getting sick of hearing from some people in my family how I should just stay put and be taken care of, like some goddamn fool that doesn't have a mind of their own. I don't know how people can feed you bullshit about how smart you are, then act like you're naive the moment you express the desire to do something that puts you out of their control, or something that they don't like because they feel the need to talk about you to everyone else, as if you're their achievement or something. Sounds like some major auto-fellatio to me.
I also admittedly deal with some pretty bad social anxiety, since high school. I also have a progressive hearing loss along with my blindness and that does add variables to things. There's no getting around that though and I just have to figure out how to live with it, as long as I can anyway. So I do have some hurtles to get past.
I could type out a lot more but this post would probably be a 5 page rambling mess. I just want to hear from people that may have went through similar experiences. I don't expect to be rich tomorrow, and I don't intend to step on gravel with no shoes on, so to speak. I just want to know how I could get the ball rolling, find a way to make more money than the max of $700 I'd probably get from SSI if I roomed with someone. Whether that's a so-called regular job (maybe something I haven't thought of), or some help on how I could use my music (hip-hop) or computer skills to put myself in the position to allow other opportunities to come to me.
Some people, its like this just comes so easily to them. They don't even have to try. Its how I used to be when I was younger.
I am also going to community college for an associate's degree in IT, it kinda covers a little bit of everything, but I hear from a lot of people inside that field that it is very experienced based, and all I've done was really intern at a help desk.
I'm sure in teh long run I'll end up in a computer/IT related place of work but as much as I like working with computers the thought of working in that corporate environment for the next 40 years (if I'm even going to be around that long) sounds incredibly repetitive and boring. It'd be nice to get a bit more out of life besides the typical drad lives that people commonly lead out, and that's no swipe at anyone here. i think if I am going to go anywhere with my music I have to get past the anxiety enough to the point where I can start putting stuff out there to be used by others. As long as I'm in this house though, I know I'm not recording any music of my own. Always people here, and this isn't the greatest environment to freely express myself without someone crawling up my ass, and besides which, it does get loud.
I have a buddy that does music also, who is going through the motions as well. his uncle kicked him out because he didn't take kindly to just doing his every bidding just because he lived with him. Lived on the streets for a while and lost everything he had, he wouldn't have been able to do much work, music or otherwise, if he wanted to. He's doing a lot better now and he's created an app and has showed it to people in the business world who know their shit and they're all super enthusiastic about investing in it. If he started making major bank off of it he offered to fly me out to where he is now, live with him, and basically work on the music thing together, among other things, I'm sure I'd end up finding employment out there to avoid mooching off of him, because he realistically doesn't owe me anything, I also don't want to bank solely on that. He is a good dude though and he's stayed cool with me through the past 5 years which was the time my first partnership with someone I did music with started and ended, and unlike that one, I never had to fight with him on getting his part in anything we did, so I think that say something.
This shit is way too goddamn long and this is a public forum, so I'm just going to leave it here.
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