Re: I am affronted by the presence of god
Well, I considder myself an agnostic just because I remain always open to any possibility of God existing though, until now, my experiences haven't proven it's existence.
I practice meditation, it has been about 10 years since I begun and in those years I've had some amazing experiences and results. I feel there is something we can't comprehend with our minds. Some might call it god but I preffer to call it universal consciousness. It is scientifically known that everything vibrates, even the atoms in our body vibrate at certain frequencies, light vibrates, even the atoms composing inanimate objects vibrate. My personal experiences prove me that we can, with practice, tap into this colective energy and retrieve data. Many of us might call this sense intuition. It's a sense that can be trained and your mind can be made to recognize certain patterns.
Meditation is, in essence, a disciplining of the mind. By learning to focus just on one thing you shut everything else up, every nonensical chatter, every thought that isn't related to your object of meditation. At first it helped me get rid of insomnia. Before starting meditation, I would go for months on end sleeping just 2 or 3 hours a night. After a while I realised that my insomnia was due to my mind being too active at night. I had all these scenarios, all these thoughts that were basically useless and were keeping me awake. I learned to focus on my breathing and quiet all thoughts putting the mind to it's much needed rest. Now, I can fall asleep within minutes if I meditate with this intent in mind.
My journey wasn't only about curing sleep ilnesses though, I wanted to see if god exist, I wanted to experience peace and love. And it is somewhat true. When the mind is still, when you live in the moment and forget everything else there is a sense of peace that is undescribable. I suspect this is what religious people mean when they say they can feel god because prayer is a form of meditation too and can induce the same effects.
After a while though, I started having some experiences that I can not explain scientifically. It basically started happening after I had what you might describe as an awakening. A very intense experience where I was in a place without time and I was nothing but everything at the same time. It is really undescribable, language has no words for it, I could write a thousand pages on the experience and not cover even one layer of what happened in those seconds. Or was it minutes, hours, I can't tell even to this day.
After that I started to develop some strange abilities. I suspect that my intuition got a lot stronger after this experience. I can feel for example if someone is going to visit me today, my lady always ask me if we are going to have a visitor today so she knows to prepare in advance, and when I felt someone is going to visit it always happened. I find myself picking up the phone and feeling that someone is going to call me soon and within seconds to a minute it starts ringing. When I am speaking with someone I can sometimes finish what they are saying. My friends got freaked out by this calling me mental so I am doing it in my mind now.
I find myself what people are feeling, I can even tell, without knowing the people what relationship they are into. How I do this is, again, undescribable because I don't use words, it's much like going on the internet. As websites have different addresses, so does everything have its own vibration. I can, somehow, tap into it and read it, much like your screen reader does with a web-page.
Why am I posting this? I honestly don't know. It's perhaps just to say my opinion on the matter, just to add my experiences to a topic that has developped beautifully and has some nice discussions going out. Take my post as you wish, I am not trying to convince anyone of my experiences nor to attract disciples or believers. I try to view my experiences as objectively as I can, that's why I haven't included any spiritual or religious beings into my post. I haven't included them because I still can not prove their existence, not even for myself. What I can say for certain is that there are many more things that we don't know, things that even the mind can not fully comprehend.
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