Re: A quick word.
Not trying to start anything else, just putting my take on the matter. I have had an awful night of reading unexpected flame wars everywhere and computer issues which had me thinking I was infected... So if I am long-winded or a little confusing, it's simply because I am tired but having a restless night.
Anyway, my take on this matter is twofold. While I don't know about Tyler or anything that has gone on, I will say that I find it pretty ridiculous that this stuff is going on. People get banned, they say "you didn't have permission to use this or that," "you hacked this, you hacked that." or my favorite one is "you're annoying and I don't want you here." I just don't see this as very constructive. While Tyler may have done some bad things, and what they are I need not know, I don't find it hard to believe that he has received some unconstructive feedback on his immature behavior, judging by some of the posts I
've seen here on this thread. I'm not saying anyone has done anything wrong or bad, I'm just saying that we're taking this way too seriously. A game is just a game and people in the game should be polite and helpful. But many aren't. To those who aren't, I personally would just deal with the matter briskly and quietly and move on, much like the moderators on this forum do. Starting an argument isn't going to do anything but make it worse, and I get the impression that there's been an awful lot of that already leading up to this point.
Now, the second part of my incoherent ramblings... Themadviolinist describes a patern of abuse that is exhibited by Tyler. I can see where Tyler is coming from to a point. While I've never been banned from a single thing, I did get severely warned on a mailing list because I had mentioned that I was trying to extract the sounds from Blast Chamber. Which was a very true statement. I actually was working
on trying to record sounds from the game. The reason I did it was because everyone was asking Justin for the sounds. At the time I figured that if he wasn't going to give them to us, I'd at least try to get as many as I could, because I am a sound geek who likes doing that sort of challenge. At least that's what my thought was at the time. Now I realize that I was only doing it because I wanted the sounds but wasn't going to ask because I was good enough to get them myself. I still have this mentality to a point about many things I do, though thankfully most of those things are not so illegal. For the first 10 minutes after writing that I was actually getting the sounds, I felt pretty good, but then as I was listening to the latest BCT podcast, I started to realize just how illegal and foolish that was. The next thing I knew I was receiving messages for the next 12 hours saying how I had broken the law and, as a very fragile 14-year-old who was imagining the wors
t possible scenarios with police pounding in my door and taking me to jail for the next 80 years while my mom yelled at me every day, it took all I could to not burst into tears. Had I not been on summer vacation, I would have had a total breakdown and would've found it almost impossible to go to school, but as it stood, I had all day to reflect on what I had done and said. I made probably the clumsiest apology ever to the list moderator who in turn sent it to Justin. I'd had some bad vibes with this mod already because he seemed to like to start fights, in fact he got sternly warned on another list I was on for just that, but as it was, the fact that I had put myself in position for him to rightfully punish me was all the more mortifying. Justin told the moderator not to ban me, which was good because the mod said he would have if Justin hadn't told him otherwise. Once it was resolved and I knew I'd evaded the worst, I deleted the work I had done. Some part of m
e still wanted to keep it, but it was nothing but bad memories for me at that point. Plus I was afraid people would find out about it and ask for them, and I didn't want that.
I also sometimes am very clingy, and I expect people to answer me or listen to one of my suggestions and implement it. I often feel rejected or left out, though it has never brought me to do something that would get me banned. I can feel where Tyler is coming from because I experience, in some way, the emotions he has described. I'll first make a sincere apology, and if it isn't immediately accepted, my first instinct is to lash out at them as if to say, "How dare you not accept this, I put my heart into this and you don't seem to care!" Over time I've come to realize that I have close friends who would be more than happy to talk out any frustrations and not let them get to a point where I'm trying to apologize and beg for forgiveness. I stay away from situations wh
ere I expect I will do something that I will later be begging forgiveness for. I try to keep a strong filter on what I do when I'm not certain how it will be taken by the recipient, which initially is almost impossible to do if you don't have a good social compass.
When I was around 17, I was just! starting to learn socially acceptable behavior. Okay so I knew a lot about it before that point, but I still acted very immature at times when I shouldn't have. I still do. I'm fighting with mild depression myself though am trying as hard as I can to not get to a point where I need antidepressants. Normally I'll fight the anxiety and depression to my last breath, but there are times when I actually want to admit defeat and somehow get an antidepressant. I soon started thinking that I would never be truly right, that there would always be some glaring flaw that would hold me back, but I've slowly started to learn that if I give a little and try to be appr
oachable, that an increasing number of people will see me for who I am and eventually all the filters can come off and I can be myself with them. I think now is the time for Tyler to realize what he has done wrong in this situation and to come to terms with the fact that it will never go away completely, but over time it can fade away and become almost irrelevant. But that takes a long time. If it shows that you're indeed waiting for them to forgive, it's a big turn-off. The best thing to do is to go away from the situation and try to change what brought it on. Which initially is a daunting task! It may take months, as it did with me and Blast Chamber, to realize the full implications of what I did and how it affected other people. The fact that you realize you did something wrong and feel very sorry for it isn't good enough now. People have to see that you understand their side as well and you have to prove to them that you care about what they have to say and won�
39;t instantly assume that they still have it out for you and are still trying to attack you. While they may be, they have the right to do it and that's all the more reason for you to be understanding and give it time to settle, or just walk away and move on. You also obviously have to try every way you can to keep anything of this caliber from happening again.
I suspect that if I had been personally involved in this drama, I wouldn't be so sympathetic toward Tyler, though having been involved in drama once, I refuse to invest my energy into it again. I don't see why it's so difficult to stay out of it honestly. And all of this started from a game! There are over 7 billion people in this world, I'd find it pretty hard to have all of them tired of me, hating me, or wanting to start some kind of useless drama with me. Point being that there's always opportunity to meet a new friend(s) if things are really bad with the current people you hang around w
ith.
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