I very much agree with documenting it all- the good AND the bad, exactly
as is. The stories about character are so much less documented than the
vital information. If I am able to learn new information by word of
mouth, it would feel wrong not to document it. I don't feel it's my
place to decide for the rest of the people in the family tree whether or
not to cover up an unpleasant piece of information potentially causing
it to be lost forever. Though I am absolutely understanding that, for
many, it is simply an unnecessary emotional burden. I would never put
the information in a place where it could be found without warning, nor
would I even announce it to the family. It is more just about recording
it, so it is there, for if and when someone specifically would like to
know to have the opportunity to take it as is.
Someone mentioned earlier how learning about the less pleasant things
our ancestors faced is helpful in understanding others in the tree and
how it affected them- I echo this. Being able to learn about the
struggles and flaws of earlier generations is truly enlightening.
Whether the information is made to die or not, chances are, this sad
story was covered up because someone was affected by it. It's not hard
to draw connections and see how any given trait of an ancestor has shown
its influence in your own personality or life. With the good things,
it's funny and exciting. And with the bad ones, it can be empowering and
encouraging to get a better understanding of why things are how they are.
Of course, it is truly an individual decision, and rather than picking a
side, what is most important to me is preserving the opportunity to make
that decision as opposed to doing something which may eliminate the
choice altogether for everyone.
On 9/12/2012 6:51 AM, John Raposo wrote:
I think there are ways of presenting history is fair and balanced.
Histories should be balanced and as objective as possible. It is of
little value to present Vavó Rose as a candidate for saithood unless
she was Mother Theresa's clone. It is OK to sing her praises as
recalled by those who knew her while noting that not everybody liked
her, that some people recalled a not so pleasant Vavó Rosa when she
had one too many. I have been a social worker all my life and when
doing family assessments it was always imperative to ask a reporter
who had only a litany of sad memories about Dad, "Can you recall
anything about him that you liked, that made you smile, that you wish
you had seen more of?" Conversely, when I start getting a sense that
someone will soon have a parish church named in their honor, I would
ask "Were there things about him that you wish he had changed, things
that you wish you hadn't known or seen.?" In these cases it was
powerful for the person telling the story to see the humanity of
sainted Vavó Rosa, and that Dad could on rare ocassion come though in
big and unnexpected ways.
*From:* Pam Santos <[email protected]>
*To:* [email protected]
*Sent:* Tuesday, September 11, 2012 4:41 PM
*Subject:* Re: [AZORES-Genealogy] Writing the family history
I agree Debbie and that is why I don't drink lol It passes on from
generation to generation not worth taking the chance.
On Tue, Sep 11, 2012 at 9:44 AM, Debra Wolgemuth <[email protected]
<mailto:[email protected]>> wrote:
My maternal grandfather was an alcoholic; a horrible disease. It
was interesting to discover how many generations back the
alcoholism went as I found an ancestor in the mid-1800's who was a
prominent settler of a new town in Georgia, but died young of
alcoholism. You can track generation after generation to current
day where the alcoholism still exists in the family lineage.
On my husband's line, there is a genetic bicuspid value problem in
the family. I've noted it in my research records so other family
members can be on the lookout for the genetic defect in their
medical care.
There are other family stories that I have not been able to
investigate and certify, so I haven't added them to my research
records. One story was that my Azorean grandmother's brother was
killed by the Portguese mafia by being thrown off the train
between Bakersfield and Fresno. Was there a Portuguese mafia in
Central California? Was this a tall tale or true? Who
knows...the research continues...
*/Debbie Wolgemuth/*
Researching Azoreans: Jorge (Flores), Freitas (Flores), Enos (San
Miguel), Silveira Matos (Faial), Rodrigues (unknown)
Immigrated to: Merced, CA
Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2012 11:36:16 -0700
From: [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>
To: [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>
Subject: [AZORES-Genealogy] Writing the family history
I have been researching my grandfather in the hopes of writing a
history for the coming generations and to satisfy the curiosity
of my family about their heritage.
After some research, I find that the kindly old man that I knew as
a child may not have been all that nice. Stories are starting to
arise of abuse, excessive drinking, and estrangement of his children.
My father was a product of his second marriage and cared a lot for
his parents. Vovoo was an old man of 75 when I was born, and I
only knew a sweet, kind old man who loved me. Now, I am finding
that the children of his first marriage did not hold him in such
high esteem.
So, my question for the group is: If you were putting together a
family history for the generations to come, how would you handle this?
Most of the stories are hearsay as there is no one alive with
direct knowledge, but there must be something to them.
I am inclined to be very honest in relating family stories, but I
wonder how some of you might handle this.
Thanks for your input,
Len
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