Guillaume,

You are correct that I have broken free of your chains at last - I only wish
I'd found the courage to do so sooner. You are also correct that I am now
the consort of Major de la Vega. The differences between you are such that
you need not bother to subject me to you odious presence should you ever
return from your exile at the front.

I am quite incensed at the way in which you have hood-winked me for all of
this time! For example, I have just learned that two inches is not a
'prodigious size' for the male member, and that it has a use other than in a
urinary context. How 'limp' your continual excuses in the bedroom appear
now! Of course, my sister Michelle has been telling me for ages that if you
were anywhere near adequate in that department you wouldn't talk about it so
much. I now realise how uncannily accurate she was!

I return your 'special medicine' since Diego has no problem in being able to
'stand to attention' without it. It never worked for you in any case and I'm
surprised that you continue to set so much store by it.

My sister-in-law Sue (for I still think of her as such) _is_ actually
staying at the Filles du St Sacrement, but these soirees you mention are as
fictitious as your 'prodigious endowments' and doubtless a product of the
same diseased and fevered imagination.

If you do ever return to Paris, please do not be so ill-mannered as to call
upon me. I would suggest that you find yourself some other innocent virgin
to bamboozle with your empty boasting, for this will no longer be sufficient
to hood-wink

Nicole de Mylcandonai

[OOC: Before any more complaints start coming in, the above was cleared with
Nicole's current beau beforehand ;-) ]

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