Sir:
Be warned that you must *never* buy a rank in your regiment
without getting the appropriate form signed and sealed by every former CO
of the Dragoon Guards. Be warned that this is also the recommended
procedure before wiping one's arse, except in that case the document must
be signed and sealed after use.
However, should you wish to seduce the wife of a former CO of
the Dragoon Guards, go right ahead. Just make up some implausible lie
about an evil twin or Rosicrucians and you will be immediately forgiven.
