Dear all,

As some of you may have noticed, it has been a few weeks that I have not
been very active on the mailing list. That is mainly because I was deeply
engaged in my other work as a publisher. I say mainly, because these few
weeks help me realize that I was not able, for now, to fulfill my founder
associate duties.

This is why, after a discussion with Xavier and David, we decided that it
would be a mistake that I stay as an associate in the company. I need to
create the conditions that will allow me, in my life, to contribute better
to it.

I will stay a contributor, and hopefully, one of the major one. At least I
will try. But, as long as my life is not organized differently, I can not
see how I could assume an associate responsibility.


Even if it is a little difficult, let’s try to sum up what led us to this
decision. It is optional to read this J, but I am going to try to provide a
full background of this story for the archives of the project.

Almost a year before, we decided (David, Xavier and I) to work together on
video game. The plan was that we will be equal partner, each one with a
peculiar area of expertise : David had a lot experience in production and
team management, Xavier in community management and free software, and David
felt I could be a potentially good game designer.

David and Xavier was used to work together (they had done it before), and
knew what they could expect from each other. I had never worked with them,
and more, I had never worked in a company with formal and structured
process. David is my brother. So, the equation was : Xavier trust David, who
trust me to do the job.

Very quickly, we met several issue. I was not used to the mailing list sytem
(I spontaneously prefer to talk one to one), I had real difficulties writing
in English and no technological knowledge at all.

But the two main issues were different, and had remained until now : I
wasn’t able to liberate time on a daily basis for the project, and, harder
to accept, I wasn’t able to be clear on the deadline that I felt I would be
able to meet and to be clear on my disponibilities. In one word, almost each
time I announced a deadline at which a peculiar task would be done, I
failed. The reasons for that are structural (I know I have obvious
orgasitionnal flows…) and conjectural (I am really deeply imply in my job as
a publisher, wich has been almost my entire life for the last 5 years).
Another issue, for me due to my psychic involvement in my job, was that I
wasn’t “motor”, but only reactive.

Last, and least : I don’t know Xavier a lot, and we have noticed that the
communication sometimes difficult, on a formal level at least.

The first and obvious consequence of all this was that my relationship with
my brother became more complicated.

Regularly, we had discussions about the fact that I was not able to
accomplish what David and Xavier considered as the minimum for an associate,
and we tried to invent practical solution. It didn’t work, and, with the
time passing, Xavier and David became exhausted and I became really
stressed, being not able to find my place in the project and seeing my
relationship to my brother deteriorating..

We decided to use the month of June as an ultimate test. The first weeks of
 June, I had the feeling I was on the good path. Then, we went to a video
games conference with Xavier, where we almost spent 48 hours together. When
I went home, I received a private mail from Xavier saying that he wasn’t
happy with our partnership. My first reaction was to be furious : why the
hell didn’the talk to me, instead of  writing me ! I felt disappointed,
since I had the impression to have worked well (wich objectively was not the
caseJ).  I decided no to answer under anger and to think. I took me two
weeks, but the answer was obvious (for me, but also for Xav and for David) :
I had to step out of the association, meaning the fact to share the same
load of work, as benefits and losses. But I didn’t want to step out of the
project : I love it and, more, I still believe I can give a lot to it. David
Believe that too. For Xavier, I don’t know.

So, for us and for the project, it is nothing sad. I feel it more like a
better arrangement.

See you very soon on the ML,

Aurélien

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