I don't know if this is the solution you are looking for:
I'm working on remote servers all the time using either XQuartz or iTerm.
In my .tcshrc I have an alias
alias bb 'ssh armin@$REMOTEHOST bbedit
"sftp://$USER@$HOST/$PWD/\!*"'
Using
bb <filename>
the file opens in a BBEdit window on my Mac.
Even
bb <dirname>
opens a project window.
Works without any problems for me.
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