Dear Pat, As you know, for the last two weeks I have been taking care of errors generated by problematic emails on the Berner-L. During this time I have realized that Spam software is intent on doing its job as thoroughly as possible -- making my job very tedious. I believe it is necessary, therefore, to introduce a new vocabulary to the Berner-L so that L'ers with rigid spam filters will not be deprived of our international gathering of knowledge . I will word this carefully so that even I don't generate errors:
1. The word we use for female Berners that rhymes with ditch should be retired. Use "girl", "sweetheart" or "female" 2. The biologically correct name for the male ... um ... this is harder than I thought ... lower appendage with which future progeny are happily effected ... should be referred to as Mr. Willie or The Joy Stick. The attendent two sac o' suds should be referred to as Family Jewels; or, if you are a very fortunate breeder, The Money Bags. 3. Any words that describe the actual act of breeding should be substituted with "Getting Lucky;" or, if you are an optimistic breeder, "Fructification." 4. The word that refers to the male being used in a breeding (it rhymes with "dud") should be substituted with "Happy Boy." Sadly, the one word in the subject line that caused the most rejected deliveries of the Berner-L digest was "donation." I'm sure Joye Neff will be crestfallen to hear about this. Spam software is able to sniff out any word remotely charitable. Thus, I suggest substituting "lavish bestowal." Trust me. I believe this would effectively reduce the errors by 50%. Sincerely, Maria Crifasi Berner-L
