Slumdog Millionaire swept everyone off the floor at the Oscars. Now everybody
wants to be a Slum dog. It is the new *in* thing. My neighbour, of Italian
descent and a decent church-going fascist American with a tinge of racism, {he
*only* hates Black People} was walking out with his small ‘bucket’. Just wanna
be slumming, baby, he said as he walked to the nearest open field to
shit. Ahaaa... the wild outdoors, he said, I never knew of this sublime
experience, he said, wind on the buttocks, he said...Gotta go to Mumbai, he
said, piss where I want to, he said, sleep on the streets under the stars,
that's freedom man, yea baby....yea....., he said.
The woman who lives on the ground floor of my building, was spreading her torn
blanket on the side walk in Hoboken , New Jersey U.S.A. to sleep like the
slumdogs sleep. She wanted the experience, she said. Wanted to feel as one with
the slumdogs, she said. Too much materialism in America , she said. Have not
really smelt a sewer in a long time, that raw smell of untreated sewage......
she said. My boyfriend left me she said...It's getting kinda cold with this
snow, she said.. Areey baba, you gone mad or what?, I said.
Slumdog has changed America . Everybody wants to experience "Slumming". The
Mumbai Slums could be the next hot destination. Americans will pay good money
to stay for one night in a slum, so famous, so popular, so sublime in it's
spirit... ha....remember how the hippies enjoyed life in India during the 60's?
"The laughter in the eyes of the starving, diseased little children. So
beautiful, so spiritual... the open sewers, so natural, the way God meant it to
be."
Suddenly, The Pakistanis all over America are proud of India . "Same country,
you know, once upon a time. We are brothers and sisters. Same heritage. Like
brothers we fight, we have small disagreements, but we are family."
Even the Bangladeshis, who usually scorn Indians are saying. " India ,
Bangladesh , same, same. No difference. Very same. Same Fud, same religion,
areey saaaaame. No big difference, I am saying to you."
Many Goans in America used to say when asked where they were from, would say,
"I am from Goa, it's a small place on the coast of India . We are not Indian,
our heritage is Portuguese. Sheesh... these Indians smell... and talk with
*THAT* funny accent."
After Slumdog got all the awards, many of the Goans are saying: "We come from
Goa, in India . But, yes, yes, we are Indian, but we are Goan, but yes,yes, we
are Indian.... but not totally Indian, but slightly mixed with Portuguese
blood, but yes, yes, Indian. It's economy is doing great, better than America .”
Even the Anglo Indians, "My heritage is Scottish, ya know, father's side, ya
know" are now claiming Indian-ness. "Yes, yes, we are Indian, slightly mixed ya
know, Scottish, ya know... but Indian, ya know. We eat Indian food, at times.
Doll and Rice, sometimes. Can't stand all that other pungent stuff THE INDIANS
eat. Of course I've been to a slum when I lived in India , a long, long time
ago, just a short time in that country ya know, left for Scotland when I was
very young. Scottish heritage, ya know. Yea, slums have an inner beauty. They
possess a haunting radiance. You gotta experience the vibe, ya know."
Of course, the *New Look *is not coming from Paris this Spring. It is coming
from Mumbai, from the slums:
Torn tattered clothing, with fake dirt $ 400.
Rubber Slippers $55.
Bottle of Body Odour, created by Jean Paul Choot-E-Yaaa in Paris $ 50.
For Five Hundred and Five Dollars, plus Tax, you can be *UNWASHED SLUM CHIC*
Long Live Mumbai Slums!!
Jai Ho!!!!
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