The OS Wars Trilogy
A long time ago, in a galaxy not unlike this one, the microprocessor was
invented. There was much rejoicing over this discovery. No longer must
computers be controlled by a mystic priest-hood. Computers can be used by
all as useful tools!
The Knights of Hackerdom, hereafter referred to as Hackers, used and
developed and promoted and in general considered this new breed of
computer a Good Thing. These magical devices could lead to wonders
never before seen in the galaxy. So these Hackers, a strange group
to begin with, devoted their lives to the development of this technology.
For a while peace and prosperity filled the galaxy. This was the age of
Apple II's and Commodore 64's, Atari's and TRS-80's. A renewed sense of
learning and cooperation-operation filled all the lands. There was
comfort in knowing that for all the programs being used the source was
flowing freely. When one had the source code, happiness and well-being
flowed. Unfortunately during this time there was a rumbling in the source.
One
of the first systems, the Altair system, had a BASIC interpreter crafted
by a young Hacker named Bill. Bill, however, did not want the source of his
creation flowing freely. He enjoyed subverting the source for his own
purposes, mainly for monetary benefit. The use of proprietary code is the
dark side of the source. This new age of joy and prosperity had to come to
an end sooner or later. An old Imperial Power, IBM, decided to try to
control this
new way of life. It released its PC, thus beginning the clone wars. With IBM
clones flooding the market, backed by the old Empire, up-starts had little
chance. The ix86 architecture was enforced. This was a chaotic time, and IBM
made one mistake. Needing an Operating System to be the life-source of their
new product, IBM chose young Bill to obtain one.
About this time the dark side of the source became too much and young Hacker
Bill became Darth Gates. Obtaining an inferior 8-bit OS, he made this the
mainstay of the IBM world. In just a few short years Darth Gates controlled
the OS, managing to leave the old Imperial IBM far behind. While Gates could
have used his powers for good, instead he chose to strive for evil. While
all this was happening, rebel groups attempted to bring down the evil
stronghold. Apple, Amiga, and Unix factions fought valiantly, as did some
direct competitors in Darth Gates' market. Alas, to no avail. And as the
evil
OS moved from version 1.0 through version 6.0 the future looked dim. To make
matters worse, Darth Gates hatched a sinister plan to counter-act the
minimal success of the rebels - steal their technology. Thus the DeathOS was
devised. The first half-working version was DeathOS3.1, and it could destroy
the usefulness of even the most powerful 386. While the rebels learned to
fight
off this beast, the new DeathOS's, 95 and NT were developed that could even
bring down mighty Pentium systems. The future looks grim, can no one stop
this plague?
Unbeknownst to Darth Gates, on the planet Finlandia a young Hacker named
Linus has a vision. He decided that a 386 could be made to do something
useful
after all. And out of this vision came Linux! Drawing from the mystic
Unix religion, this new OS was developed. Strong in the free side of the
source, Linux only grew more and more powerful every day. Improved by
Hackers throughout the galaxy, and aided by strong flightless waterfowl
the OS became a major fighting tool of the rebels. Hackers, which had been
a dying breed, rallied behind Linux and the GNU project. All is not lost!
The galaxy chafing under Darth Gates will rise again! The battle has begin!
Who will win?
To find out, watch for the upcoming OS Wars Trilogy, appearing soon in a
theater near you.
And, as always, may the Source be with you
"I wrote this today, frustrated as usual with the idiots in Redmond. Sorry
for any inaccuracies in the parallel; I only have knowledge of the second
trilogy; the rest is second hand from my girlfriend who has read all the
books.
Apologies to George Lucas." -- Vince Weaver
"The myth that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to
lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the
fact
that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in
the first place, and continues to do so today." -- Douglas Adams
Thomas R. Fasulo, Editor and Expurgator of MS Word
I HATE COMPUTERS Newsletter
Http://extlab7.entnem.ufl.edu/IH8PCs/
