Don't sweat it. Thank you.
On Fri, 15 Dec 2000, Jim Sharkey wrote:
> Hi all,
>
> My father passed away Wednesday night after a six month bout with brain
> cancer. His passing has spurred a few thoughts I wanted to share with you,
> if you're interested. I apologize in advance if this rambles or strikes any
> of you as inappropriate. If it does, again, I'm sorry. But there may be a
> point to it all at the end. And maybe writing a bit will focus a few things
> for me as well...
>
> The cliches about the preciousness of time abound. But like many aphorisms,
> there's usually some truth lurking at the bottom of them.
>
> My father and I were never close, just as he and his father weren't, and
> beyond. He was away from home five out of seven days, driving a truck, and
> on weekends, he had little time or patience for the antics of three
> rambunctious children. Oh, he was never bad to us, or anything. And he
> tried, sometimes, to get involved, whether through Little League or Boy
> Scouts or whatever. But his job prevented him from truly being a part of
> those things. I have only a couple of memories of the two of us really
> spending time together.
>
> When he and my mother split, I saw even less of him. It's unfortunate, all
> that time wasted. And you always think that there'll be more. I did my
> best to at least have him know his grandchildren, and I think that it raised
> his spirits over the past few years.
>
> But I know that he was an unhappy man most of the last ten years. I think
> it weighed on him that he had tossed away so much time. That his children
> couldn't really be bothered with him, though he rarely made much effort to
> fix that either. Possibly he felt that he didn't have the right. I don't
> know.
>
> So the service is tomorrow, and I still don't know how I feel about it all.
> I feel like I should feel worse than I do, but in some ways, well, it's like
> the passing of someone who was more acquaintance than someone from whom I
> know I inhereited my appearance and some mannerisms. I know that sounds
> awful. I know it ought to not be that way. But it is.
>
> And I wonder, did I learn anything from Dad? Yes. Yes, I think I did,
> actually, and it's something I want to impress upon any of you who hope to
> be parents, but especially fathers because I think we're more prone to it.
> Be there for your kids. No matter what. Even if you're, like me, currently
> the only income, it's still not more important than time. Your children
> need your time, more than anything else. Don't go to your grave wondering
> if any of them care.
>
> I learned a lesson from Dad that he wouldn't have known how to teach if you
> asked him. I learned how to be a father.
>
> Thanks for reading. I'm sorry for being so far OT.
> Jim
>
>
>
>
>
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>
Marvin Long
Austin, Texas
