I'm getting a bad name on the list......

....and I probably deserve it for being impulsively nasty, even though
certain politicla views make me want to upchuck, well it's rubbing off on
individuals...I have to keep asking *myself* whether I *did* mean it
personally, since everyone is *taking* it personally. I am actually more
to use a psychological term "internalizer" (blame oneself) rather than
"externalizer" (blame others), by inclination anyway, and the long timers
know I can be self deprecating often excessively so. But when I'm not self
deprecating then maybe it goes too far the other way.

In other words, I must be insane in a clinical if not legal sense
Not innocent, but "guilty and insane/mentally ill," is how a court would
put it anyway...I never tend to want to actually plead innocent. 

well...I'd been posting on another (and much politer) list DB is involved
with and manaed (with a single indiscreet word on list, followed by an
oflist exchange...)to renew an old feud - he and I are not on speaking
terms, I guess; he said "let's go our separate ways," he had so wanted to
believe in me once, and felt betrayed...gee, I wonder what he would think
if he's looking at the public archives, "is that the same Kristin?" Huh. I
am over sensitive to criticism. and prone to putting my foot in my mouth
or keyboard in publicand then over reacting on being chided for it. and
over reacting to being chided again for over reacting in a vicious spiral
that leaves both sides hurt (Especially someone ilke Brin who prides
himself on being gentle.)

I am not going to unsubscribe by the way, but I guess Ishould quit posting
for now unless the topic is something very innocious - maybe not even
then. (tensions are running so high between people with the "feeling
unwelcome" thing.)

Kristin

(Oh JDG... if you wnat to be non political and neutral in a nice innocious
post, maybe you could try getting rid of your .signature files, or only
including the info that would be on a business card. I never said so, but
I had found your .sigs such as those during the Bush campaign a bit
offensive because it effectively dragged politics into every single post
no matter what. Dolphin is talking "ban politics," but a better proposal
might be "no political preaching in .signature files." The list may
contain political discussions, but it is not a Repulican rally.)

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