----- Original Message -----
From: "Chad Cooper" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Monday, March 18, 2002 2:46 PM
Subject: RE: Andrea Yates


>
> > Deterrant means, for example, that someone who  is
> > considering stealing
> > somthing will consider  the fact that people who steal go to
> > prision and say
> > "gee, I better not steal then."  (S)he is deterred from
> > her/his actions.  An
> > insane person will rarely be deterred, because their thinking
> > process is not
> > logical.  If they are in a highly controlled environment, they will be
> > seperated from society.
> >
> > Dan M.
>
> Perhaps the notion of Justice and punishment needs to change for the 21st
> century. Many of the most horrific crimes recently are those where the
> perpetrator knew it was wrong, unaffected by deterrence, and did it
anyway.
> When a criminal like Andrea Yates immedately calls the police after the
> crime, there is either not enough of a deterrence,

Criminal? What was the motive for her crime? (I will agree that it was a
crime by any standard I can think of.)
Chad, have you actually read much about this trial?  I realise that I may
have you at somewhat of a disadvantage since I live just a few blocks from
the Yates residence and this is *the* top news story locally, but I cant
imagine that you would have read a version of it that would not evoke some
kind of sympathy for the plight of this woman.


> or there is not any
> deterrence method what would work. Another example would be the 30+
suicide
> bombings in the last year killing thousands.
>
> Perhaps the Hari Seldon had the answer - You make them dissappear from
> history.

Ahhh....ok....so we just murder the mentally ill, is that what you are
suggesting? I hope not. :(

WHY I SYMPATHIZE WITH ANDREA YATES

When I first joined Brin-L, I was going through a divorce with a woman who
had been diagnosed (before we were married) as having DID. (Dissociative
Identity Disorder).
  Before we married she seemed to be improving and things seemed wonderful,
but almost as soon as the honeymoon ended she relapsed into her previous
behaviors.
  In her mind I was her enemy and the cause of all her problems, all her
unhappiness. During our marriage I was screamed at for 2 or 3 hours at a
time on 3 or 4 days each week. I was threatened with baseball bats and large
kitchen knives. She threatened to kill me in my sleep on several occasions.
I hate to tell you how trivial a thing could be that would set her off.
There were times I sat in the driveway afraid to go in the house. I never
knew what kind of greeting awaited me.

  She used to hide syringes around the house and use them to draw blood that
she then smeared on her face while she watched herself in the mirror. She
hid razor blades and would cut herself when she was depressed. She swallowed
whole bottles of pills (usually Klonopin).
She had hallucinations and delusions. (she saw pentagrams on the ceiling and
imagined devil worshipers had lived there before us for example).

 She confabulated vividly ( through dreams and/or hypnosis treatments)
wherein she came to believe her parents were satanists and that she had been
sexually abused by them and their fellow satanists. (She actually had been
sexually abused but under much more mundane circumstances). She believed
that she had killed a baby during a satanic ritual she had been forced to
participate in.

About six weeks into our marriage she discovered she was pregnant.
And after our sons birth she suffered from a serious case of post partum
depression. She wanted nothing, I mean nothing to do with him. It is
ironicly fortunate that I had been laid off the week before he was born,
because I had to take care of Rory with a little help from my 10 year old
step daughter. He slept with me downstairs on the couch every night. I did
virtually all of the changing and feeding and care for the first month of
his life. Around then I was able to convince her that I needed to go back to
work and I needed her to take over.
  You cannot imagine the stress I felt those first days, leaving my son
alone with her while I worked. I feared everyday for a couple of weeks that
she would abuse him or I would come home to find him dead.

Sound familiar?
Oh it was bad a lot of the time.
But sometimes it was worse.
And I will  be a bit honest about it.
  After living in this unhealthy enviroment I began to behave toward her as
bad as she did toward me. There were times when I was determined to give as
good as I got.
I am guilty of verbally abusing her.
I am guilty of emotionally abusing her.
And there were times when our disputes became physical. Nothing extreme, but
I would slap her back when she slapped me or push her after being pushed.
There is no excuse for this kind of behavior.
I am guilty of physical abuse.
I am guilty of physically abusing someone who was mentally ill.
My behavior.
My fault.
I am responsible and there are no excuses.
The fact that it only happened 2 or 3 times means little.
It is supremely humiliating to find that you could be reduced to that level.
I never thought of myself as that kind of person.
I always thought I was better than that.
But I have to live with this shame and do my best to never let myself get
into a position where I might act so badly again.

I realise that my ex-wifes mental illness was in some sense rubbing off on
me. I was catching the bug. I wasnt able to hold myself above the action
where I could see what was going on.
  I think about this pretty often. I was susceptable when I thought I was
wise and knew better. I never expected to be so wrong in my estimation of
myself. I thought I was strong. Strong enough.
I wasn't.
And maybe I'm not.
But after all that, maybe now I am.
I'm not sure I want to find out.

Now it may seem that I see my ex-wife as a sick wretched harridan who made
my life miserable and who drove me to humiliate myself.
I'm really sorry that I leave that impression.
My ex-wife is a sweet loving person, smart and likeable, with good
character. She is a strongly moral person. She is as good a mother to her
children as she can possibly be (considering her liabilities.).
She truely loved me and I did her.
But she suffered.
And when she suffered, the people she loved suffered.
Thats part of the nature of love I suppose.
I care about her, more than just caring for the welfare of our son and her
daughter implies. But my life has moved on now.
These days her status seems pretty good. She seems healthier than I have
ever known her to be and I am glad for it.

But as bad as things were for and between us, I know they could have been
much worse.
I am grateful that the things I feared most never materialised.

Maybe you can understand why I dislike discussing mental illness. I lived
with it for so long and it affected me in so many negative ways.
I know that I have grown from my experience. Hopefully I am a better person.
I like to think I was a good person before, but I no longer have as much
confidence in that.

Andrea Yates......her mental health problems exceed My ex-wifes by an order
of magnitude. Everything she suffers is much worse than what I saw. She
killed her children. But my experience tells me that the delusions and
compulsions she suffers would overide any logic, common sense, or reason you
might expect from a normal person.
I saw some pretty crazy stuff and have little difficulty imagining the scope
of her insanity.

Now, I have revealed more about myself than I feel comfortable with.
A lot of it bad things about myself. I'm kind of expecting that people might
see me in a more jaundiced light and I cant say that I would blame them. I
have trouble forgiving myself for the bad things I did.
I hope you guys understand that I might not feel like discussing this.
This cuts deep and while it might be seen as theraputic by some, I find it
painful and difficult to express.

rob

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