As usual, the runner-ups are better than the actual list :-)
Jon
TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- SCIENCE FICTION
http://www.topfive.com/fivers.shtml
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May 16, 2002
NOTE FROM JOHN:
As many as 2.6 million people may miss work today
(your humble moderator's wedding anniversary, by
the way) to see "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones."
The Top 5 Signs Your Co-Worker Skipped Work to See Episode II
5> He's making funny breathing noises, just like after he saw
"Last Tango in Paris."
4> The herd at your nerf ranch is in total chaos.
3> The mail guy's idle comment that Captain Kirk could kick Luke
Skywalker's ass went totally unchallenged.
2> Her hologram replacement doesn't spend as much time making
personal phone calls.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Co-Worker
Skipped Work to See Episode II...
1> When he comes in the next day, you hear him muttering "Damn,
that sucked! AGAIN!"
[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
Signs Your Co-Worker Skipped Work to See Episode II
RUNNERS UP list -- Home A-Clone
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He comes to work the next day with a single braid in his hair.
(Mike Sarno, Towanda, PA)
He comes in the next day with a glazed look, reeking of stale
popcorn - and you don't work in a car dealership.
(David Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL)
Natalie Portman just walked down the hall naked, and there was no
hysterical shrieking from his cubicle.
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
Message on the company's answering machine: "Paycheck? Steady
employment? A Jedi craves not these things!"
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
A note on his empty cubicle states that he is not the worker you
are looking for.
(Joseph Moore, Concord, CA)
He leaves work early chanting, "Yahoo, Naboo! We had to wait til
number 3 in the original to see Leia skin, HOWZA!"
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
The bomb threat that conveniently evacuated your workplace? "Yeah,
that's right, I'm going to blow that place sky-high sometime right
after the start of the matinee!"
(Joseph Moore, Concord, CA)
The secretary reports that when he called in sick, he seemed to be
on some kind of respirator.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
"Meesa stuck in traffic, can't make it to office. How wude!"
(Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD)
He's got a crazed look in his eye, and a lightsaber in his
hands instead of the usual assault rifle.
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
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