Thief can't resist lure of the bottle Associated Press TEXAS CITY -- A man trying to burglarize a Southeast Texas home got a little sidetracked.
Grady Wayne Dennis, 37, apparently stumbled onto a bottle of Crown Royal Canadian whiskey while attempting to load piles of loot from the home. Dennis was sitting in a living room chair intoxicated when police found him. Officers entered the house and discovered stacks of items ready to be moved out, according to the Texas City Sun. Dennis, a parolee through 2011, was being held at Galveston County Jail on $100,000 bond. All of the stolen property was recovered except a handgun and a rifle. ***************************************************************** Indian villagers marry off two donkeys Associated Press NEW DELHI, India -- The drought-plagued residents of a small village in southern India organized a ceremonial wedding for two donkeys to appease the Hindu god of rain, a news report said Thursday. Dressed up like a bride and groom, the donkeys were escorted to a temple in the village of Sakkayanayakanur in Tamil Nadu state on Wednesday, the Press Trust of India reported. There, a local priest chanted prayers and led the donkeys in a ritual ceremony to propitiate the rain god, Varuna. The beasts were then led in a procession that ended with a wedding feast -- for the donkeys and local villagers. The donkey wedding was the second to be held in the small Indian village, which like much of the country has endured months of drought, aggravated by a heat wave that has claimed hundreds of lives. Temperatures in some areas have soared as high as 118 degrees. The seasonal monsoons, which feed the agricultural economy of Tamil Nadu, have started late in parts of southern India this year. *********************************************************** 'Tooth phone' could take bite out of cellulars Reuters News Service LONDON - British engineers say they have invented a revolutionary tooth implant that works like a mobile phone and would not be out of place in a James Bond spy movie. The 'tooth phone,' designed by James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau, consists of a tiny vibrator and a radio wave receiver implanted into a tooth during routine dental surgery. The implant does not yet have its own microchip installed, but Auger says the technology is tried and tested, and a fully functional phone could be put together in no time at all. "With the current size of microchips, this is feasible. They are now small enough to implant in the tooth," he told Reuters Tuesday. Sound, which comes into the tooth as a digital radio signal, is transferred to the inner ear by bone resonance, meaning information can be received anywhere and at any time -- and nobody else can listen in. The invention raises the prospects of financial traders receiving the latest stock market bulletins while at the movies and politicians tuning in to secret briefings from advisers while being quizzed by opponents ************************************************************* German party offers 'feel good' condoms Reuters News Service BERLIN - German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder's Social Democrats have picked an unorthodox way to try reaching voters: condoms in the party's bright red color. Red boxes containing 100 condoms with the slogan: "Feel Good, SPD" are being sold at a gift shop at the party's headquarters for 44 euros ($40), an SPD spokesman said Sunday. The spokesman confirmed a report in Sunday's Bild am Sonntag newspaper that included pictures of the prophylactics and their bright red box. The condoms are available in two different types. Schroeder is in a tough battle for re-election on Sept. 22. His center-left SPD trails the conservative opposition by about four points in voter surveys. *************************************************************** New odor index to rate bad smells Associated Press PHILADELPHIA -- The nose knows when something stinks -- but researchers are trying to find something more precise. Researchers at Penn State University are developing "an odor index" to gauge the olfactorily offensive. The scientists have devised an instrument-based system that sniffs out the gases a substance is giving off and determines how smelly it is on a scale from 0 to 1 million -- with 1,000 barely detectable and 100,000 potent enough to cause nausea. Researcher Bradley A. Striebig says the index could help wastewater treatment plants, pig farms, landfills and other potentially smelly sites "mitigate (odor) before it becomes a public problem." **************************************************************** Thwarting moose, biologists instead light fire Reuters News Service ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A wildfire burning in Alaska's interior was ignited by state biologists using firecrackers to ward off an aggressive cow moose, officials said Tuesday. The 92,000-acre wildfire, which started last month and is burning spruce forest south of McGrath, was inadvertently started during a field study into elevated calf mortality. The firecracker shells were being used to protect a staff member from an approaching moose, said Cathie Harms, a biologist with the Alaska Department of Fish and Game. "One of the staff members on the ground saw the firecracker go off, saw some flames, ran over to try to put it out," Harms said. "By the time the staff member got there, it was beyond what he could put out, and then it ran up a spruce tree. And then once it was up a spruce tree, there was nothing he could do." State biologists have long used firecrackers to deal with aggressive moose and bears, such as animals entering schoolyards. This was the first time they know of that one of the devices started a fire, Harms said. ******************************************************************* Elephant talks unchaperoned walk through town Associated Press MENOMONIE, Wis. -- An elephant made an early exit from a circus performance and headed down Main Street, walking about two miles through the city before being corralled. "All of a sudden the elephant doing a performance went over the ring and right through the center ring," said Shirley Kistner, who was attending the circus Monday with her 6-year-old granddaughter, Kaitlyn. "People in the stands and everybody kind of scattered, and out the door it went." After Mary the elephant broke loose at the Dunn County Recreation Park, the fire department responded with lights and sirens, prompting the 6-year-old elephant and her mother, 21-year-old Tory, to begin running in opposite directions, officials said. Tory was quickly recaptured, but Mary wandered through the business district of Menomonie and the University of Wisconsin-Stout campus until authorities managed to block her way, Police Chief Dennis Beety said. "People were just dumbfounded," firefighter Tim Koleski said. "It was amazing." Elephant trainer Billy Morris used Tory to calm Mary and got both elephants loaded onto a semitrailer truck to take them back to the circus. **************************************************************** You can run, but you can't hide with alligators Associated Press STUART, Fla. -- Sheriff's deputies didn't mince words during an early morning standoff with five wanted teen-agers hiding in a pond. "You ought to be more afraid of the alligators," deputies yelled early Monday, shining a flashlight into the eyes of two alligators nearby in the water. "It's alligator mating season." The standoff quickly ended. Martin County sheriff's deputies, who had surrounded the teen-agers, arrested them on charges ranging from grand theft auto to resisting arrest without violence. ************************************************************* Italy court rules insulting language part of life Associated Press ROME - If you think it is natural to insult someone with a choice vulgarity about body parts and get away with it, come to Italy. Italy's highest court of appeals has ruled that vulgar phrases in a heated argument between two motorists had become so natural in stressful modern times that they should no longer be considered a crime against honor. The court ruling overturned a sentence by a lower court that convicted a 32-year-old man of the crime of insulting with obscene language for having told someone during a verbal fight over a parking space, "Don't break my b--ls." The court ruled that modern "consciences" had by now become so accustomed to such language that it was no longer considered a violation of penal code article 594, which lists "Crimes of Honor." Modern life called for Italians to turn a deaf ear to language that would have prompted duels in years gone by, the court said. **************************************************************** Rancher bets the farm on miniature cattle Associated Press ROCKWELL, Iowa -- Dustin Pillard is betting his farm on compact cows. Pillard has 50 tiny cows on his northern Iowa farm, all about 3 feet tall. He's hoping they'll catch on as pets, and so far inquiries have come in from as far as Europe, Mexico and Argentina. "I like them," said Pillard, 30. "If nobody else does, that doesn't really bother me. We're breeding just for the novelty end of it." The smallest full-grown animal is a 3-year-old bull that's 33 inches tall and weighs 320 pounds. The largest, a mature bull, is 35 inches tall and 400 pounds. Pillard thinks interest for the cattle, which start at about $1,000, is growing. And the more people know, the more interest he sees. "If they saw a rodeo bull that was only three feet tall, I'd think they'd have to have one. That's our hope, anyway." ************************************************************** Spam has its own museum Associated Press AUSTIN, Minn. -- Depending on who's eating it, Spam is either a slice of post-war Americana or a slice of who knows what. Whatever it is, the canned convenience food now has its own museum. "All (you've) got to say is Spam and you've got a discussion," said Nancy Barker of Menasha, Wis., emerging from the Spam Museum Friday with a handful of memorabilia. "Of course, there's also quite a lot of jokes." For 66 years this southern Minnesota town of 22,000 has been known affectionately, or derisively, as Spamtown. "It's a part of our past and it's probably part of our future," said Barker, 65, who has her own recipe for Spam pancakes. "People are almost cult followers." The museum has been open since September, but Spam maker Hormel Foods delayed a celebration until Saturday because of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. The rescheduled grand opening is steeped in Americana, with famous TV moms like Marion Ross and Barbara Billingsley, sports figures and a World War II memorial dedication. Inside the museum -- admission is free -- those followers will have plenty to absorb. A 430-foot conveyor belt rattles around the ceiling, carrying about 850 cans of Spam. Visitors can take a Spam exam or can their own Spam (not the real stuff). There's also a radio station -- KSpam -- and a video screen that shows classic Monty Python skits slamming Spam. The museum also has exhibits on the Hormel family, explains what goes into Spam (pork shoulder, ham, spices and preservatives) and describes the product's special relationship with American troops in World War II. The war generated huge sales for Hormel, which provided 15 million cans of Spam each week to the military. From 1939 to 1942, the company's overall sales doubled to almost $120 million. On Sunday, Brokaw, the NBC News anchor, will dedicate a special memorial to honor World War II veterans. Gordon Handrich, a World War II veteran from Appleton, Wis., who was at the museum on Friday, remembered eating Spam. He liked it, but he remembered some soldiers who swore they'd never eat it again once the war ended. A Spam-o-meter at the museum tallies the cans of Spam produced. Hormel expects to turn out its 6 billionth sometime between June 29 and July 3. The museum, which is free, has drawn 39,000 visitors since it opened, and the number is expected to double this weekend. Laura Shields saw a freeway sign for the Spam museum and said she had to stop and drag her vacationing family in for a look. "It's incredibly cool," she said. Shields said she's carried on a running gag with her brother-in-law, who gave her a Spam calendar for Christmas. The museum shop sold windsocks, pens, T-shirts in Spam's distinctive navy and yellow colors and, of course, the cans. Some people may love Spam for its salty ham taste, but others are fascinated by the name. In 1935, Hormel President Jay Hormel held a contest at a New Year's Eve party to name the meat. The winner spliced the words "spice" and "ham" to claim the $100 prize. Barker, who said she has eaten Spam all her life and fed it to her six children, left the gift shop with a stuffed can of talking Spam. She gave it a squeeze. It chimed: "I love Spam." ************************************************************ Nude farmers creating stir in Sweden Associated Press STOCKHOLM, Sweden -- A calendar featuring nude farmers armed with pitchforks, shovels and wheelbarrows is creating a stir in Swedish agriculture circles. A national farming organization, which presented a similar, hugely successful, calendar last year, is worried that the new version made by a local group of farmers could defeat the purpose of the original calendar. "They're surfing on our wave of success," said Ann Linden, one of the creators of the national 2002 calendar. Linden said the first version, featuring waist-up, black-and-white photographs of nude, young farmers in farm settings, was designed to change the image of Swedish farmers as "grumpy old men with hats." Linden said her poster boys were "attractive guys about 25-30 years old, who breed chickens, cattle or work in forestry." The 7,000 issues of the calendar quickly sold out, with additional orders coming in from the United States and Germany, and a new calendar is planned for 2003, Linden said. The success was not lost on a group of farmers in Rimbo, a small community about 30 miles north of the capital, Stockholm. They decided to make their own calendar on a smaller scale, only in color and with more humor, one of the farmer models, Anders Saeterli said. The calendar will be sold at a farm fair in August. Saeterli said he and his colleagues posed nude with covered by a variety farm and forestry equipment including shovels and chain saws. ************************************************************* xponent It Never Ends Maru rob
