M. Malmkvist wrote:
>- What is the speed of darkness?
Darkness is the absence of light, so without light darkness simply *is*.
Therefore darkness could be said to have infinite speed. Or, darkness could
have a speed zero as it really exists everywhere, but merely needs light to
go away for us to notice.
>- What color does a smurf's face turn if you strangle it?
1) Purple. Trust me.
2) (my wife's answer) Is that before or after it starts to decompose?
>- What happens to all the white color when the snow melts?
Is this a racist comment? ;-)
>- How do you find out that you're out of invisible ink?
A little known property of invisible ink is that it is visible if used on
invisible paper. Therefore, if you try to write with invisible ink on
invisible paper and don't see anything, you're either out of invisible ink
or using a sub-standard formulation.
>- What happens if someone scares you half to death - twice?
1) I'm guessing you don't play video games like Diablo? I learned from
playing Diablo that we all have a health meter that continually increases
until it reaches full health. After someone scares you half to death the
first time, your health immediately starts to recover, so even if only a few
seconds have gone by before the second time they scare you half to death,
you don't die. You merely nearly die.
2) (my wife's answer, again) If you have 100 health, and someone scares you
half to death, then you're at 50 health. When they scare you half to death
again, that drops you to 25 health.
Using either of these methods, it can be proved that multiple
"scaring-half-to-deaths" are 100% non-fatal.
>- Ambition is a poor excuse for not being smart enough to be lazy.
Does that mean I'm a genius on the weekends?
>- Hard work pays off in the long term - lazyness pays of here and now.
I'm seeing a deconstruction of profit plans in corporate America in here
somewhere...
>- Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
I'll pencil it in.
>- If you think noone needs you - try not to pay your bills.
Been there, done that, doesn't matter. They don't *need* me; they just
*want* me.
Reggie Bautista
"If people who do not understand each other at least understand
that they do not understand each other, then they understand each
other better than when, not understanding each other, they do not
even understand that they do not understand each other."
--Gustav Ischheiser
Appearances and Realities
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