On Wed, Nov 27, 2002 at 10:53:23PM -0500, Jon Gabriel wrote:
> The ANSWER isn't evil, the QUESTION is evil!!
>
> :-)
>
> Jon
>
> BTW and seriously, My wife asks these same questions, but she knows
> she'll get an honest answer without sarcastic (or godforbid 'humorous')
> comments. If she's looking for anything but honesty, she doesn't ask,
> and therefore doesn't take it personally. (Maru)
Here's something I saved from the Internet a long time ago (I can't
remember the source). Maybe you'll like it:
***
Here are the five most common questions women ask their significant
other.
1) "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question is, "I'm
sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm,
wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and
what a lucky person I am to have met you."
Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the
person was really thinking at the time. The best answer to this stupid
question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it
by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking
instead of thinking."
The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong
answers:
2) "Do you love me?" The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For
those who feel the need to elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear."
Wrong answers include:
a - I suppose so.
b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
c - That depends on what you mean by "love".
d - Does it matter?
e - Who, me?
3) "Do I look fat?" The correct response to this question is to
confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly
leave the room. Wrong answers include:
a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
b - Compared to what?
c - A little extra weight looks good on you.
d - I've seen fatter.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your
insurance policy.
4) "Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in the question
could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at, or an
actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is,
"No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include:
a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your
insurance policy.
5) "What would you do if I died?" Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the
event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me
and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first
Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the stupidest
question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following conversation:
"Dear," said the wife, "what would you do if I died?" "Why, dear, I
would be extremely upset," said the husband, "why do you ask such a
question?" "Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of couse
not, dear" said the husband. "Don't you like being married?" said
the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said. "Then why wouldn't you
remarry?" "Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry." "You would?" said
the wife, looking vaguely hurt. "Yes" said the husband. "Would you
sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause. "Well
yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband. "I see," said the wife
indignantly."And would you let her wear my old clothes? "I suppose, if
she wanted to" said the husband. "Really," said the wife icily. "And
would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures
of her?" "Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do." "Is
that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let
her play with my golf clubs, too." "Of course not, dear," said the
husband. "She's left-handed."
--
"Erik Reuter" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> http://www.erikreuter.net/
_______________________________________________
http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
