This pokes fun at just about everyone. ;D > WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? > > > GEORGE W. BUSH > I don't think I should have to answer that question. > > > AL GORE > I invented the chicken. I invented the road. > Therefore, the chicken > crossing the road represented the application of > these two different > functions of government in a new, reinvented way > designed to bring > greater services to the American people. > > > RALPH NADER > The chicken's habitat on the original side of the > road had been > polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The > chicken did not reach the > unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road > because it was crushed by > the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. > > > PAT BUCHANAN > To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American. > > > RUSH LIMBAUGH > I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but > I'll bet it was > getting a government grant to cross the road, and > I'll bet someone out > there is already forming a support group to help > chickens with > crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? > How much more of this can > real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid > for by their tax > dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking > about your money, money the > government took from you to build roads for chickens > to cross. > > > MARTHA STEWART > No one called to warn me which way that chicken was > going. I had a > standing order at the farmer's market to sell my > eggs when the price dropped > to a certain level. No little bird gave me any > insider information. > > > JERRY FALWELL > Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't > you people see the > plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was > going to the "other > side." That's what they call it - the other side. > Yes, my friends, that > chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you > will become gay too. I say > we boycott all chickens until we sort out this > abomination that the liberal > media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases > like "the other side." > > > DR. SEUSS > Did the chicken cross the road? > Did he cross it with a toad? > Yes! The chicken crossed the road, > But why it crossed, I've not been told! > > > ERNEST HEMINGWAY > To die. In the rain. Alone. > > > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. > I envision a world where all chickens will be free > to cross roads > without having their motives called into question. > > > GRANDPA > In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the > road. Someone > told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that > was good enough for us. > > > BARBARA WALTERS > Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be > listening to the > chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming > story of how it had > a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish > its life-long dream of crossing the road. > > > JOHN LENNON > Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. > > > ARISTOTLE > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. > > > KARL MARX > It was an historical inevitability. > > > SADDAM HUSSEIN > This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were > quite justified in > dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. > > > VOLTAIRE > I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I > will defend to the death its right to do it. > > > RONALD REAGAN > What chicken? > > > CAPTAIN KIRK > To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. > > > FOX MULDER > You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How > many more chickens > have to cross before you believe it? > > > SIGMUND FREUD > The fact that you are at all concerned that the > chicken crossed the > road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. > > > BILL GATES > I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not > only cross roads, but > will lay eggs, file your important documents, and > balance your checkbook - > and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of > eChicken. > > > ALBERT EINSTEIN > Did the chicken really cross the road or did the > road move beneath the chicken? > > > BILL CLINTON > I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do > you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please? > > > THE BIBLE > And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto > the chicken, "Thou > shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the > road, and there was much rejoicing. > > > COLONEL SANDERS > I missed one?
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