Trying to go in order here, I might be more tempted to answer in reverse if my reactions were to be trusted.
Kevin wrote > But seriously, I have some questions. I got a forceful suggestion that I > e-mail someone, from her aunt. Practically a command. I've seen this girl > twice in the last four years, and maybe spoken ten words to her. The aunt > wasn't offering any help, she just said, 'I'll get you her e-mail, you o > the rest. > > First of all: how in the world could you write a good e-mail? "Oh your aunt > said you were lonely and your life pitiful, she thought us hooking up would > be good for both of us!" This is the beauty of creative writing- really no one can tell you- (and the first question might be how do you get her to read the email and not think it is spam?) You can take a quippy approach with irreverance for the "command". You can present as a "I really don't expect this to go anywhere", or the smooth operator approach of "you can have fun with me". Think how you would like to be approached. If she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you- no skin off your back from a simple e-mail- probably more anxiety over the writing than taking a shower/picking clothes for a blind date, but you can look smooth in your approach for all your prep time this way. > Let's say I do come up with an okay e-mail, would any of you ladies react > favorably receiving a cold-call message? (The guys don't have to answer, I > know that response) You have only one degree of separation, I don't consider it a cold call as much as a blind date (if that). I would be far from swooning with any email from the proverbial blind date- but it might get enough interest to see what we might have in common. I have to agree with other posters- what is the worst that can happen other than never hearing from her- you get an aquaintance/friend. Sounds like you don't know her history and you are thinking of this purely from your perspective of the risk (not that that is a criticism, everyone wants to be loved the way they want to be loved- or so I hear ad naseaum). > Obviously a lot I'm leaving out. She lives far away. I'd > rather do an > e-mail then phone her, if I cannot take her out in person. > I mostly can't believe I'm even thinking about this. Life is full of the unexpected, you don't have to buy engagement rings/power tools or worry about buying a house yet. then > I'm single, she's single. She's smart, I understand the infield fly rule. > She is very nice looking, I haven't been chased by an angry mob with > pitchforks in at least nine years. She needs someone to support her and I'm > okay with that as long as she can cook, clean, buy all the groceries, do > the laundry, keep up with the yard work, raise the kids, keep herself in > shape, and have a job that pays at least as much as mine does so she can > have her own damn money. GROAN- you might want better "delivery" than that. Sounds like you might be better off with a pen pal in the "woman", and to put an ad in the paper for a roommate/flat mate who wants traditional role chore sharing... not the potential to find "love". There are realities to life and chores need to be done, this seems more like a negotiable thing in this day and age (but hell, she might go for a cave man, be superwoman or you might know her better than I think and she is looking for the modern day Robert Young). Sorry if I missed the tongue in cheek emoticon. I occasionally talk with teens about dating from a conceptual perspective- (frex-on a continuum of clingy to independent- where would you like a mate- then I add some perspective points- clingy/cant make a decision without you in comparison to independent where the mate may decide to go off in the Peace Corps for 3 years). What order if pressed would you put the following- who does what chores, attraction, compatability, matching upbringing, ability to communicate, matching values, matching religion, ability to handle stress, financial status, matching politics, location, job adaptability to relocate for the other person, how many kids you want? I put chores "low to middlin" in relation to some of the others. I realize the concern over the potential involvement of the "aunt", but the same possible criticism that the "woman" is still tied to the "mother's apron strings" would apply to the aunty- just because you accept an email address does not mean you cannot say "beyond this is our business" and/or "we appreciate a chance to try this on our own". Heck, it could make for a good "conversation" to see how similar your views on family involvement are to this "woman's". Dee who has no idea why she is rambling- must be the snow (shoveling or snow blindness :-), an odd mood, and too much time in the family crucible of relationships _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
