----- Original Message ----- From: "Jon Gabriel" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, October 03, 2003 12:56 AM Subject: Re: Raceism
Before I do anything else, I want to respond to just this portion of Jons message, because what he says is the most important thing anyone has said on the list all week. > ~~~~~~~~ > Rob, I know this can be a really explosive issue and I've tried really hard > to phrase these questions so they won't be misinterpreted as an attack. If > I offend you at all with them I'm really sorry. That's totally not my > intention. Jon, I think we know each other well enough by now to know that neither of us is likely to take serious offence to remarks made during a discussion or even an argument. It is a matter of trust. The fact that you show such sensitivity for others feelings speaks well of you. But I believe that most of the "trust" issues on this list are in the past. (At least at this point) In the past we have seen what kinds of problems can crop up when one person lacks trust in his/her fellow listmembers and their intentions. It is perfectly OK to disagree and perfectly OK to speak one mind regarding a subject under discussion. And we will not be friends any less for it. Its a matter of trust. > I guess I just empathize more with the suit filers. > Its understandable. But I suspect I view these things from a different corner. It takes 2 people to have such a dispute. 1 to insult and 1 to feel insulted. Both have the ability to be in control of themselves in that the first person can insult the other or hold his/her tongue. The second person can ignore the insult or can get their panties in a bunch. It absolutely is a choice. But most of us are taught from childhood to take ourselves so seriously, to be seriously addicted to self-righteousness, that we are blinded to the choice that is always in front of us. I have failed at this many times, but I think I have learned to recognize this part of myself a lot of the time. It's quite easy to see in others, and that is a very human failing. This has nothing to do with being dispassionate, and everything to do with being aware of the doodads and thingamagadgets that make up ones inner workings. What motivates me? What makes me hurt? How is it that others words cause me to feel pain? Unfortunately (or very fortunately if you look at it the right way), I was at one time in a situation where someone I loved screamed insults and epithets directly into my face for very long periods of time. At the time I felt trapped, and my only escape was to dissociate my *self* from the situation. After my escape<G>, and with some help, I could see that the choice to be in that situation was mine and mine alone. *I* was the one who kept me in a situation where I absorbed a lot of verbal abuse, and *I* was the one who let that abuse devour my self esteem. And *I* was totally responsible for any pain I suffered as a result. *I* made a victim of myself. And I was the one who had to make things change. And I had to do it without making others change because it was *my* problem. So when some group gets pissy over an epithet that lost its power nearly a hundred years ago, I see someone setting themselves up as eternal victims. And the world has far too many of them. That, my friends, does not bode well for the future, or for moral and ethical progress. xponent Immunity For Our Children Maru rob _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
