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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- SCIENCE FICTION
http://www.topfive.com/fivers.shtml
==================================================================April 2, 2004
NOTE FROM DAVE:
First, congratulations to our newest contributors.
They are Kim Walker-Daniels, Vilyehm Teighlore,
Scott Elmer, Alan Rea, Heather Mina, and James
Knowles. They have no idea what they're in for.
This week's list is the first of two related
topics, both coming from a suggestion by Heather
Mina. Next week, the Earth girls get their shot.The Top 10 Ways Alien Chicks Are Hotter Than Earth Chicks
10> She can hum through her *what*?!?
9> There is a chance I might actually have sex with an alien
chick because they are unfamiliar with the concepts of nerd,
geek, dweeb, dork, TopFive contributor, wonk....8> Eight, count 'em, eight feet, Mr. Foot Fetish.
7> Three legs, three breasts -- Col. Sanders is de...oh, not
those chicks. 6> I don't need to wear glasses when I'm looking for a glowing
clitoris. 5> On their planet, chubby, socially inept dudes who live in
their parents' basements are keenly desirable. 4> If I had to pick just ONE quality, I guess it'd have to be
that 'Wet-n-Dry Vacuum' thingie she does.3> Her ability to psionically project a holographic twin sister.
2> Apart from a few Roswell residents, there's a lower
probability that you're cousins.
and the Number 1 Way Alien Chicks Are Hotter Than Earth Chicks...
1> Based on virtually every science fiction movie, television show and comic book, all alien chicks look like Victoria's Secret models with green skin, bumpy foreheads and skin-tight bikinis.
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ] [ http://www.topfive.com ]
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================================================================== Selected from 41 submissions from 12 contributors. Today's Top 5 List authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 1, 9 Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 2, 6 Vilyehm Teighlore, Tucson, AZ -- 3 Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 4 Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI -- 5 RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS -- 7 Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL -- 8 Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL -- 10 Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC -- Jedi Knight
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Ways Alien Chicks Are Hotter Than Earth Chicks
RUNNERS UP list -- Toasty Warm
------------------------------------------------------------------She's a methane breather, which means we can eat Mexican on a
date.
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)Only get their periods once a millennium.
(Chris White, Irvine, CA)Fifty years, and the sexiest man to come by the planet was Kirk?
They're desperate!
(Heather Mina, Virginia Beach, VA)Blue balls, meet blue skin.
(Heather Mina, Virginia Beach, VA)Four hands, two tongues? Use your imagination, Chester.
(Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI)Extremely easy to cop a feeler.
(Vilyehm Teighlore, Tucson, AZ)The women's lib movement hasn't made it to Aldebaran yet.
(Heather Mina, Virginia Beach, VA)They all look like comic book heroines and anime babes.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)More appendages = More options!
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)------------------------------------------------------------------
Ways Alien Chicks Are Hotter Than Earth Chicks
HONORABLE MENTION list -- Room Temp
------------------------------------------------------------------Have you ever had a massage from a four-armed woman?
(Heather Mina, Virginia Beach, VA)Enough tits and orifices for the entire football team,
concurrently.
(Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia)Why settle for a pair of hooters when you can have 57?
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)You'd be hotter, too, if you lived on Mercury.
(Chris White, Irvine, CA)They don't get all huffy if you go through a wormhole before they
do.
(Chris White, Irvine, CA)With a body temperature of 105.6, they actually *are* hotter!
(Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL)================================================================== [ TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS ] [ "Top 10" lists on a variety of subjects ] [ http://www.topfive.com ] ================================================================== [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ================================================================== [ To complain to the moderator: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ] [ Have friends who might like to subscribe to this list? ] [ Refer them to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ] ==================================================================
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