[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
>
> This story has been worked on and worked on and worked on.
>
> There's no point in trying to number all of the revisions.
>
> I purposefully started the action in the middle, and there really isn't any
> action as it is all words, words, words.
>
Sorry that no one was replying. I like it, but I fear that I am
missing some of the elaborately set up puns. I know you mentioned
the Farley's dog thing a couple of months ago--I certainly don't
share the cultural referent for that one! I like the characters
of the Tytal, and their penchant for joking.
Maybe the solution is to just put out a lot of puns/references,
not to spend a huge build-up on any of them, and figure that the
reader will appreciate a good fraction.
Action? Well, there usually is action in a story. It wouldn't
be a bad thing. : )
---David
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