--- Nick Arnett <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Gautam Mukunda wrote:
conflict can
be overcome by more tolerance and examining of our
own faults
I snipped my post to highlight the key one. That does seem to be what you keep talking about in your constant statements about looking at your own faults, or avoiding differentiating between good and bad people. It's not just about our own faults. Our own faults are things that should be corrected, but they're not the only, or even the most important, things we can influence.
Again, I don't think that sentiment is Christian... or spiritually satisfying, though tempting it is. Nor is it what I'm trying to express, though I understand how it might come out that way. Like many popular ideas, it's half-right.
While I do seek to focus much on my own balance sheet of character assets and flaws rather than others, the purpose in doing so is not to overcome conflict. It's not about overcoming anything -- it is about acceptance, which brings peace, rather than score-keeping, which produces misery as I demand an end to conflict.
Accepting things as they are means believing that people are doing their best, but it doesn't for a moment mean that they can't do better. Nor does it mean that I am to tolerate unacceptable behavior. But it means responding, with thought, rather than just reacting.
The problem with saying that I'll be more tolerant and focus on myself in order to overcome conflict is that it implicitly demands an end to conflict. The alternative view that I try to embrace is that I'll be more tolerant (in the sense of not insisting that others change themselves) and focus on my own character in order to be a kinder, more loving person.
This is the difference, I think, between narcissism disguised as selflessness and real spiritual growth. If you see something essentially selfish in liberal posturing, that's probably it -- the goal is not to change themselves, it's really a demand that others change wrapped in pious language that's full of holes. I still catch myself doing it.
I'm quite certain that there is a similar observation to be made about people with conservative viewpoints, but I leave that as an exercise to the readers.
Nick
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