Messages In This Digest (2 Messages)
Messages
- 1.
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When a Girl
Posted by: "L.u.c.c.h.a" [EMAIL PROTECTED] notorious_cyber_cop
Tue Oct 17, 2006 10:39 pm (PST)
When a GIRL
When a GIRL is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how
long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds, she is not fine
at all.
When a GIRL stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying
When a GIRL lays on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says "I love you", she means it.
When a GIRL says "I miss you", no one in this world can miss you more than
that.
- 2.
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Employee Rules and Regulations
Posted by: "L.u.c.c.h.a" [EMAIL PROTECTED] notorious_cyber_cop
Tue Oct 17, 2006 10:40 pm (PST)
*Dress Code*
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
therefore do not need a raise.
*Sick Days*
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
*Personal Days*
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
Saturday and Sunday.
*Toilet Use*
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of the three
minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.
After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company
bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy!
You are allowed to use the rest room only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors also.
*Lunch Break*
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so
that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
maintain their average figure.
Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
needed to drink a slim fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company.
We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments,concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations,aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management.
*Mails*
Don't read junk and forwarded mails.
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