Yes, I get a chuckle from this every time it comes around. Especially
the part about the unbelievable DME volume.
Two things, though.
First, the process by which an A&P ("Airframe and Powerplant" what the
aviation world calls the person called a "mechanic" everywhere else)
gets certified is essentially identical to the process by which a pilot
gets certified. You are given instruction, you take a written test, get
more instruction, your instructor "signs off" on you, you take an oral
test, and then are given a practical exam. To progress from the initial
certificates to more advanced, you need to gain experience and take more
tests. At no point is a college degree required for a pilot, and many
"ab initio" programs will put you in the right seat of an airliner
within three or four months of first walking in their door. Also, you
can learn the stuff needed to pass the tests to get the A&P
certification at many colleges, and in the process acquire a degree.
Second, UPS certainly has had at least one accident, and probably many
more, at least for the NTSB's definition of "accident".
On 7/21/2015 10:50 PM, Bob Hawkins via BVARC wrote:
Even though it is not ham radio related, this is good for a laugh.
Bob Hawkins
*From:*Amer [mailto:[email protected]]
*Sent:* Tuesday, July 21, 2015 4:19 PM
*Subject:* Fwd: Too funny
ENJOY....
*Just in case you needed a laugh:**Remember it takes a college
degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix
one; that's****reassurance to those of us who fly routinely.
After every flight, **UPS pilots**fill out a form, called
a**'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with
the aircraft.*
*_The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs
on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before
the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS
pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked
with an S) by maintenance engineers._**/_
By the way, _/**/_UPS is _/**/_the only major airline that has
never, ever, had an accident...._/**__*_
_*_
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement._**_
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire._**_
*_**_
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough._**_
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft._**_
*_**_
P: Something loose in cockpit_**_
S: Something tightened in cockpit_**_
*_**_
P: Dead bugs on windshield._**_
S: Live bugs on back-order._**_
*_**_
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent_**_
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground._**_
*_**_
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear._**_
S: Evidence removed._**_
*_**_
P: DME volume unbelievably loud._**_
S: DME volume set to more believable level._**_
*_**_
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick._**_
S: That's what friction locks are for._**_
*_**_
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode._**_
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode._**_
*_**_
P: Suspected crack in windshield._**_
S: Suspect you're right._**_
*_**_
P: Number 3 engine missing._**_
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search_**_
*_**_
P: Aircraft handles funny._**__**/_(I love this one!)_/**_
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious._**_
*_**_
P: Target radar hums._**_
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics._**_
*_**_
P: Mouse in cockpit._**_
S: Cat installed._**_
*
And the best one for last
*_**_
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer._**_
S: Took hammer away from the midget_*
--
Jonathan Guthrie KA8KPN
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