Sue,
Thanks for the comments. All accepted, with a couple clarifying notes
in-line...
thanks,
-ethan
On 08/03/11 13:03, Sue Sohn wrote:
On 08/02/11 15:45, Ethan Quach wrote:
Can I get a review for the following bugfix:
BugID:
--------
http://monaco.us.oracle.com/detail.jsf?cr=7025229
(7025229 Need an AI manifest man page)
Webrev:
----------
https://cr.opensolaris.org/action/browse/caiman/equach/7025229/webrev/
thanks,
-ethan
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Ethan,
This is long, but most of these are nits.
ai_manifest.4.txt
22-23
specifies how to layout the disk(s) to be installed onto
->c
specifies the disk layout for the installation
25 Rename as Software Sections to match 1014. Or change 1014 to SOFTWARE
26 remove dash
34-35
These sections will be outlined in more detail in the sections below.
>
These sections are described in more detail below.
71 Since you refer to smf(5) here, maybe add it to SEE ALSO section.
126 1->one
141 of this what?
of this <target> element.
184 with each what?
with <disk> and <logical> elements
184 will now be outlined-> are as follows:
200 when by-> when
246 see-> see the
257 change to: The types of criteria that are possible are:
268, 279, 291, 295, 301
Should all of these "devprop"s and "dev_prop"s be "disk_prop"s?
308 systems -> system's
432 of a-> of
435
that will be big enough to hold an installation
->
that is big enough to hold the installation
436 use -> will use (also add period to end of sentence)
487 if the name is omitted -> that the name be omitted
586
To create a 20gb slice, using default values, and a 4gb swap slice it
could be written as:
->
An example of creating a a 20gb slice, using default values, and a 4gb
swap slice is:
627-629 if space allows there will be the a swap zvol automatically
created
->
if space allows, a swap zvol will automatically be created
635-637 similar
784 This name here can be used -> This name can be used
785 elements->elements'
786 attribute->attributes
831
To add a device to a <vdev> this is done by using
->
To add a device to a <vdev>, use
910 it's->its
929
any property set on a filesystem are
->
any property set on a filesystem is
935
typically used to -> typically used for
957-958
This value says that the zvol is to be delete.
->
This value says that the zvol is to be deleted.
998 add comma after <dataset_options>
1030 add comma after software
1032 replace comma with 'and'
1041-1042
the publishers to use for installing the packages from.
->
which publishers to use for installing the packages.
1045 of that the -> that
1077 value of not explicitly set -> value if not explicitly set
1081 add comma after "For each of these actions"
1098 which are used -> which is used
1118 installed, this can be-> installed. This can be
1142 can be set please -> can be set, please
1143 man-page-> manpage
1151-1152
To specify one or more P5I files to be processed by
providing them as origins in the <source>/<publisher>
->
To specify one or more P5I files to be processed, provide
them as origins in the <source>/<publisher>
1174 add comma after transfer
1186 needs wordsmithing
Reworded to:
The <software_data> element is used to specify the action
to be performed. The action attribute can be one of two
values:
1190 of not explicitly set-> if not explicitly set
1200 comma after actions
1218
add comma after transfer
source, -> source.
1219 the->The
1231-1122 wordsmithing
Reworded to:
The <software_data> element is used to specify the action
to be performed. The action attribute can be one of three
values:
1235 of not-> if not
1290
is configured on installed system
->
is configured on the installed system
1294 Boot modifications is -> Boot modifications are
1320 default to -> defaults to
1324 suggested reword:
If multiple entries are set to "true", then ....
1333 list->menu
1411-1416 Suggested reword:
A default system installation with no customizations, this file is
provided on the system for reference only.
To create a new AI manifest, the copy of this file relative to
each install service image should be used. See the
DESCRIPTION section for more information.
1420, 1427 make into sentences
1430-1432 Similarly, remove wording about installing same release.
1436 In our other man pages, the SEE ALSO section follows ATTRIBUTES
1438 pkg(1M) -> pkg(1)
Sue
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