Well said, Martha!
Ron Nelson > From: [email protected] > Date: Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:00:10 -0700 > To: [email protected] > Subject: [Callers] Mixers > > Wow, I'm stunned by the negative attitude toward mixers expressed > below. Certainly I know there are folks who aren't keen on mixers, > but seriously - "the caller assumes that most of the regulars do not > enjoy dancing with newcomers?" I call mixers fairly frequently > because as a dancer I enjoy doing them, just as Beth states. I tend > to do them as a third dance, a little break from the contra line > format, a chance for everyone in the hall to meet everyone - how many > times have you come to the end of the night and noticed a bunch of > people you just never happened to be in the same line with, and you > didn't even know they were there (and I don't just mean newcomers > either, I've seen good friends I somehow missed)? Sometimes if there > are a lot of newcomers that have been concentrating hard on the first > two dances, an easy short mixer will relax them and give them > confidence. There are quite a few fun mixers out there - Ted > Sanella's Love and Kisses is a nice one, for example. I do always say > as soon as the previous dance ends, "Take partners for a mixer" and > tell people not to get too attached to their partner, because they > won't have them for very long - after all, I don't want everyone > lining up for a contra if it's a mixer. But if anyone thinks I'm > doing it as an implied message that they aren't partnering with > newcomers enough - then I would suggest that the guilty parties are > projecting their own guilt onto my motives. If the shoe fits.... > Martha > > > On Jul 19, 2010, at 9:00 AM, [email protected] wrote: > > > Send Callers mailing list submissions to > > [email protected] > > > > To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit > > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > > or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to > > [email protected] > > > > You can reach the person managing the list at > > [email protected] > > > > When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific > > than "Re: Contents of Callers digest..." > > > > > > Today's Topics: > > > > 1. Re: Integrating Newcomers (Was "Calling debut") > > ([email protected]) > > 2. Lack of Contra in the Adirondacks ([email protected]) > > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > Message: 1 > > Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2010 04:21:55 -0700 > > From: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> > > To: Caller's discussion list <[email protected]> > > Subject: Re: [Callers] Integrating Newcomers (Was "Calling debut") > > Message-ID: > > > > <00B69DEF44D08841A28AEE08D9E236C7038156D9BC@P3PW5EX1MB10.EX1.SECURESER > > VER.NET> > > > > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" > > > > Wow. > > > > I call mixers because it is the one and only time in an evening > > when the whole group is gathered together. Instead of "my little > > clique" it is "all of us are in this together" as a dancer and as a > > caller I enjoy that experience. > > > > I call mixers because I find a whole evening of contra, contra, > > contra, contra, contra... boring (as a dancer.) Especially if every > > dance has a similar piece count, pacing, and two swings (or at > > least a partner swing.) > > > > There are probably other reasons as well, but these are my primary > > thoughts. Any idea of needing to twist the arm of people to welcome > > newcomers has not entered into it. > > > > The modern urban contra dance scene is welcoming to people who > > would fit in anyway. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It is the > > nature of hobby activities. Since muc dancers go to a dance > > primarily to dance "what they want to dance the way they want to > > dance it" then anything outside of their hobby mind-set is anathema. > > > > Beth > > > >> -----Original Message----- > > <snip> > >> > >> First, I find that mixers are too often a heavy-handed way to > >> force the > >> regular dancers to integrate newcomers. This can set a negative > >> tone that is > >> transferred to the newcomers themselves, creating an attitude that > >> newcomers should be "tolerated." The "grumbling" Jeff mentions > >> above is > >> not easy to miss. It seems obvious that many newcomers will be > >> aware of > >> this attitude and it will interfere with their motivation, and > >> possibly their > >> inclination, to integrate into the dance community. > >> > >> Second, I feel that mixers can actually discourage many regulars from > >> partnering with newcomers. This happens when mixers are not > >> announced > >> in advance. Consider the situation when a more experienced dancer > >> takes > >> the initiative to approach a newcomer and partner with them only > >> to learn > >> that the dance will be a mixer. This can be discouraging to those > >> who put out > >> the effort to partner with a newcomer. If you want to call a > >> mixer please > >> announce it clearly and well in advance of the partnering process. > >> > >> Third, the decision to call a mixer can send several implied > >> messages to the > >> regular dancers that have a negative influence. These include: > >> > >> - The caller assumes that most of the regulars are not > >> partnering with > >> newcomers. > >> - The caller assumes that most of the regulars do not enjoy > >> dancing with > >> newcomers. > >> - The caller does not have confidence in the regulars to > >> welcome and to > >> partner with new dancers on their own. > > > > > > End of Callers Digest, Vol 71, Issue 15 > > *************************************** > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > [email protected] > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers _________________________________________________________________ The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?tile=multiaccount&ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WM_HMP:042010_4
