On calling circle mixers at contra dances Martha Wild wrote:
But if anyone thinks I'm
doing it as an implied message that they aren't partnering with
newcomers enough - then I would suggest that the guilty parties are
projecting their own guilt onto my motives. If the shoe fits....
Ok. Let me make some gentle comments.
No one is trying to assign guilt here. The issue
concerns how our words and actions are perceived, not our intention.
Implied messages are almost never sent with
conscious intention. The implied message is
often inferred from the necessary consequence of
the explicit message. Implied messages can
reveal the subconscious assumptions of the
speaker. This is why we usually trust implied
messages more than explicit ones. Our true
feelings are often revealed by our implied messages.
I prefer for the caller to assume the support of
everyone in the hall and both speak and act as if
everyone is already with them. By making this
assumption the caller will communicate using
implied messages, which are then much more
effective because they are positive assumptions
about the audience. Because implied messages are
often sent by what we do NOT do or say they will
also save us all a considerable amount of time.
A detailed analysis of implied messages, however,
is too complex for this venue.
Nancy wrote:
I also like the "community" feel to circle mixers - it gets people out of
their own little cliques and gives you a chance to look at the whole and
feel like a part of the whole, which I feel is very important to building
community.
This is precisely why I call contras. Circle
mixers can also have the same effects. I use
mixers at one-night-stands and other private
events. My comments were intended to explain why
I am not currently calling mixers at regular contra dances.
In this discussion there were some very different
perceptions expressed about the popularity and
enjoyment of circle mixers at contra
dances. Some heard grumbling and saw other
negative reactions while others were shocked to
hear any of this and saw almost universal
acceptance of and enthusiasm for circle mixers.
Is one group right and the other wrong in
their perception? Or are we all simply looking
at shadows on a cave wall and interpreting the
images differently? If the latter is the case,
then we need to listen to one another to get closer to reality.
As leaders we have the ability, and the
responsibility, to drive the perceptions and
attitudes of the community with our own
preferences, beliefs, and passions. I have no
doubt that callers who love mixers can call them
successfully with wide acceptance and that
callers who prefer not to call them can also
achieve success and wide acceptance.
During the first half of the evening my priority
is to empower the regular dancers to take an
active role in welcoming and partnering with
newcomers. I work to give them an active and
critical role in doing so. Consequently I take
responsibility for making sure that this process
is both successful and enjoyable. I like to give
them all the information I can to assist them in
making proactive partnering decisions. For me it
would be a violation of that contract to spring
a mixer--or other non-contra formation--on them
without first announcing it well before the
partnering process starts. I consider the
partnering process to begin at the start of the
slot prior to the non-contra formation, before the walk-through begins.
A good caller with a strong personality can call
a widely varied program of dances and make it
work, if only by force of character and
skill. In fact, very poor callers can call a
successful evening of contras simply with a high
level of enthusiasm and charisma. Our ability to
influence the audience needs to be tempered,
however, with a strong commitment to getting
unbiased and even brutal feedback from as many
people as possible. We cannot afford to dismiss
someone elses perceptions or preferences as
incorrect or to reject a non-supporting dancer
as a guilty party who is merely projecting
their own guilt onto the caller. This is why we
need to stay open to new ideas, and to differing
opinions. Yes. It hurts to acknowledge that
someone might not appreciate our efforts, but
that is our job. It goes with the territory.
To grow and evolve as callers we need to maintain
an open mind and an attitude of humility. If we
do not we will be stuck with calling dances
the
way they always did it back in the day,
(
whatever you believe that was.) To keep this
living tradition alive we need to foster and
cultivate a tolerance for new ideas and new approaches to calling.
I appreciate this list as a forum for doing
that. Thank you all for sharing your widely
divergent opinions. I hope we can all learn from this diversity.
Thanks to Beth, Martha Wild, Chrissy, Bronwyn,
Richard, Suzanne, Jeff, Joe, Nancy, Martha, and
Ron for your thoughtful and insightful comments.
- Greg
