Martha wrote:
Greg - I think you misunderstood me a little bit. My view that, left to our own devices, we act like high schoolers, is based on observation -- anecdotal observation, to be sure, but what I have seen has been so consistent, that I, at least, am convinced.
I understand that you are convinced. This is the nature of framing. Once we adopt a frame we see the world in terms of that framing. The more we "activate" a frame, the easier it is to evoke it. I am not directing this critique at you, personally. This framing is very common among callers. You merely expressed it very clearly and succinctly. I am questioning the prevailing frame for contra dance.
I want to assure you that I do not observe the world as you do through the "high schooler" frame. Employing a different frame I see that almost all contra dancers are enthusiastic about and enjoy dancing with newcomers. In fact, it is one of the most enjoyable parts of contra dance.
How is this possible? Seen through my frame any uncivil behavior in the hall is direct evidence of poor calling. If there is anyone in the hall behaving poorly the proper response from the caller is to be apologetic.
Martha also wrote:
This view does not in any way absolve anyone of responsibility. In fact, my whole argument is that "the grownups" need to take charge and make sure that the kindness/inclusiveness attitudes are predominant. Yes, we are all capable of such behavior, and yes, in fact, it is our ability to behave that way that led to the survival of our species. But our survival was also dependent on keeping away from "others" who were not in the family, tribe or village. It is that inherited sense of "us" and "they" that leads to exclusiveness and shunning. And war and pestilence.
My argument was that absolving the caller of responsibility was the only possible advantage I can see of this framing. By treating the dancers as high-schoolers we give up a host of strategies that could be used to gain their support and participation in building a sense of community. When a caller activates "the grownup" framing this projects an authoritarian position and puts the caller at odds with the interests of the dancers. This is not an advantage. The framing creates an adversarial relationship with the dancers.
Martha also wrote:
What I said was, the group leadership needs to address these issues. The caller is part of the leadership, so we have the right and the responsibility (at least in our own towns) to speak up in meetings, at after-dance get-togethers, online, etc. But when we're actually calling, I agree that we should limit our etiquette remarks to small, cheerful reminders, no harangues or lectures from the stage.
Nor off-stage. The frame that sees people as inherently uncivil creates a sense that the seat of the problem is with undisciplined or uneducated dancers. My frame sees the seat of the problem as poor calling.
Martha then asked:
What about this point of view "excuses" the caller from taking responsibility? What about this point of view suggests that the caller "blame" the behavior on the dancers and leave it at that? I'm just saying that trying to change a culture by fiat is rarely sucessful, and a caller who wants to change things should start, first, on the dance floor by being the sort of person he/she wants others to emulate, second, off the dance floor by passing on the larger "contradance culture", and lastly, from the stage only in small bites, respectfully, and with good humor.
Doing anything by fiat would be a destructive action by the caller, because it undermines the relationship of trust and goodwill with the dancers. The nature of the "contradance culture" is what we are discussing. That culture is currently dominated by the frame you have put forth so eloquently. If you wish to change that culture I can attest that you will have much more influence as a caller than as a dancer.
Martha also wrote:
What I also said was that, in a contra group, we callers should lead by "gentle precept" (words) and "strong example" (doing). Fewer words, more doing. Here,one of our best dancers spends nearly 80% of her time with the least experienced dancers, bless her angelic heart. Now THAT is a strong example.
"Fewer words, more doing" is an excellent prescription. If the caller assumes the support and civility of all of the dancers they can eliminate many words intended to "correct" what the "high schooler" frame implies that the dancers will be inclined to do. Assume the best and take responsibility for the rest. That is a recipe for few words.
Please consider that your 80% "angelic heart" dancer may be doing what she most enjoys. She may be one of your most selfish dancers. Why not direct your programming and calling efforts towards making sure that regulars, who are partnered with newcomers, have a great time. Make sure that they have an opportunity to use their skills and knowledge to share something they are passionate about with a confident stranger who is ready to learn. You may find that there are many more "angelic hearts" than you had assumed by looking through the "high-schooler" frame.
- Greg
