Perry wrote: > There are several issues here. One is the terminology that is used to > differentiate the two dance roles and second, whether we will ever move > contra dancing to a completely gender-free system. >
I was booked to call a dance once and noticed, on arrival, that there was only one man in the hall--besides myself. I mentioned this to a band member and she informed me that this was a lesbian group holding the dance. She was surprised that I had not been informed of this before the gig. I was not prepared for this and I saw it as a complication, but when I spoke with the organizer she informed me that no special terms would be required. "Let me assure you," she said. "We all know who the 'gents' and the 'ladies' are." It worked and a good time was had by all. "Maleness" and "femaleness" are qualities that all of us share...to at least some degree. We all have testosterone and estrogen. The differences are a matter of quantities and proportion. I have no problem dancing the ladies part once or twice in an evening,...but I would not drive two hours to do that all night. I see that hint of "sexual tension" in the room at a dance as a core part of what makes it fun. The energy of opposite tantric polarities in close proximity is part of what drives the energy level at a dance. I see it as an essential component. Most folks do social dancing, at least in part, to interact with the opposite gender. We enjoy and celebrate dancing with all kinds of folks, but I am hesitant about changing the terminology to the extent that gender choice is not an option. I want to be able to choose which gender role I play during an individual dance. I think most folks--regardless of sexual orientation--would also like to have that option. I hope we can work out a system that satisfies all of us and does not obliterate gender roles from the dance. If we use gender-free terms like "yellows" and "blues" I am confident that most folks will, upon arrival, be asking one another "which color are the ladies?" Is that wrong? I don't think so. It's a part of why most of us dance. - Greg McKenzie > > I think that > we all have to understand that everyone has their own comfort zone. > Some people do NOT want to dance with a same-gendered person no matter > how much you prod them, shame them, or even force them to do so. Some > are willing to try it from time to time, others enjoy it a lot, and others > want to make all > contra dances completely gender free regardless of whether or not it > will chase some members from the community. > > It is a strong > uphill battle to at least move from a heteronormative way of thinking. > Just recently it was suggested that the way to get someone to contra > dance (a man) was to tell him that a > new woman will be thrown into his arms every 30 seconds. Reason being > that most people are heterosexual and might be drawn to dance thinking > he's going to dance with women. I suggested that this was a bad idea > due to the fact that in most dances you'll see men dancing with men, > women dancing with women, and people switching roles. > > I think > that the best compromise is to continue with the gents/ladies > terminology, but emphasize that these are merely titles of traditional > roles, but anyone can play them regardless of physical gender. That is > what I say in my workshops, and it's usually generally understood. Any > new terminology that you use will force people to translate which means > "man" and which means "woman". However, I do understand the baggage > that these gender-loaded terms do bring. > > > Perry > > > > ________________________________ > From: JoLaine Jones-Pokorney <[email protected]> > To: [email protected]; [email protected] > Sent: Wednesday, January 2, 2013 9:23 AM > Subject: [Callers] gender > > In reply to Read who said "When gendered terms are used, people are more > likely to sort themselves by gender. Newcomers are unlikely to even > consider the possibility of not doing so." > I disagree. When I teach the introductory workshop I say, "You will see > women dancing the men's role and men dancing the women's role." They see > this happening immediately, even in the introductory workshop. In our > community, men dancing the women's role is less common, but it will happen > at least once at each dance so newcomers are seeing it. > We often get new women who want to dance the men's role so that they can > dance with their women friends that they came with. Of course this isn't a > great plan since they're all newbies, but my point is that they don't > hesitate to switch roles. > I find that the long-time contra dancers are often the ones who are less > willing. At a dance just a few days ago, I asked a woman to dance. Right > beside us were two men dancing together. She declared that it was silly > for two men to dance together when there were women available to dance > with. Another time I asked a woman to dance and she said she would if she > couldn't find a man to dance with. Another time I was lined up with my > woman partner when two men came running over and declared "We know you'd > rather dance with us!" and one of them grabbed my partner away and the > other one grabbed me. These are long time dancers who are operating under > the notion that a couple equals one man and one woman and anything else is > only to be tolerated if the ideal cannot be had. > So perhaps a non-gendered term would help the long-time dancers more than > the new dancers! I notice that in this conversation thread - no one has > actually proposed another option. I've thought it ought to be something > totally random like "blue" and "yellow" but a shift that drastic just > wouldn't happen I don't think. > I'm reminded of the time I was asked to call a gender-free dance where > where they were using "bands and bares." I spent a tremendous amount of > time practicing calling bands and bares and getting dances I felt > comfortable calling that way. IN the introductory workshop, I was passing > out bandanas for the bands and one man was asking his friend what I meant > by the "bands." She said to him - "She means the mens part." I thought > why did I just bother to learn bare and band when they're just thinking > women and men? > > -- > JoLaine Jones-Pokorney > > "We are as gods and might as well get good at it!" > - Stewart Brand > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > [email protected] > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > [email protected] > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers >
