Hah! I think I understand why I see no leader/follower dynamic in contradancing.
(a) I think of it as "let's both help each other get to where we want to go, with maximal fun and flourishes as seems appropriate" - what Maia calls a 'team sport' with 'signals and tension from both partners.' It's an equal opportunity fun zone. My favorite 'hot' partners, regardless of the role I am dancing, are the ones who view it as a give and take. They are striving to read my response to their suggested flourishes or swing speed -and- are paying attention to the flourishes or swing speed that I might be suggesting. Or as Maia puts it, the ones who 'intuit' what I'm doing, regardless of the roles we're dancing. (b) I don't like giving up control to someone else. (In Maia's terms, I like being 'in control' and 'taking care of' the other dancers.) I simply don't like ceding all agency, in general, and I have never relied on the gent role to tell me where I am going when contradancing. I can imagine it could be sweet to feel that someone else is taking care of you, but what if they're taking you down the wrong path? Or what if they're forcibly making you do something you just don't want to do? Or what if they have no clue? No thanks. I like both suggesting and responding to suggestions for flourishes & swing speed (as a lady or as a gent) I like helping make sure everyone ends up in the right place (as a lady or a gent or a same role neighbor) and of course I greatly appreciate that help when I'm spacing out, or don't get the dance, or am distracted by the music. I like the feeling of teamwork and accomplishment that comes from contradancing, including that dynamic of teamwork with my partner, regardless of what role I'm dancing and regardless of who's more experienced. It boggles my mind that some women out there have no idea how/where to end a swing, and some men out there have no clue how to read whether someone does or doesn't want to twirl or how many times they'd like to do it. Intriguing topic and subtopics, but I have to say I'm glad I am not on FB. That larger conversation would be too damned distracting. ;) Chrissy Fowler
