I would like to second Dave's comment. I dance with and talk with a lot of newcomers and, especially, young people, I've been told that some of the flirting they've encountered is considered by some as down-right creepy. Many newcomers also feel overwhelmed by the excess twirling and hardcore swinging. Admittedly other newcomers are fine with it. If you are a regular at a dance, you can identify a newcomer in seconds. Yu can also figure out in seconds who is up for a flirt and who is not. I don't know why it so hard for some people to help other dancers rather than overwhelm them. I flirt early and often. I clown more than most. With the right person I enjoy a vigorous swing (though with the wrong person they hurt my back). And when I was younger I sometimes got carried away. But Dang! We need to remember that contra is a social dance, not an exhibition. Thanks, George
On Wed, Apr 3, 2013 at 12:16 PM, Dave Casserly <david.j.casse...@gmail.com>wrote: > Some people are also uncomfortable flirting with people of the opposite > gender, as well. Or people who are older or younger, or who knows what. I > don't think choosing dances based on assumptions about who's comfortable > flirting with whom makes any sense. Instead, as callers (and, perhaps more > importantly as organizers), it's important to foster a community where > everybody understands that it's important to respect others' boundaries. > Flirty dances are those where there is an option, not an obligation, to > flirt. > > I don't think people newcomers who are uncomfortable with flirting (or with > flirting with somebody of the same gender or whatever) are really bothered > by, say, having to touch somebody by the hand for 5 seconds during an > allemande. If something's making them uncomfortable, it's how the other > person doing that allemande chooses to behave that does so, not the dance's > choreography. > > -Dave > > > On Wed, Apr 3, 2013 at 12:10 PM, Janet Bertog <ja...@bertog.com> wrote: > > > Some people are uncomfortable being forced to flirt with a person of the > > same sex. Some people are not uncomfortable. Those people who are not > > uncomfortable are free to dance with same sex partners if they choose, > but > > it is their choice. Forcing people into a situation where they are > > uncomfortable makes them stressed and unhappy, which can translate to the > > people around them and increase the overall general stress of the room. > If > > you are in a gender-free dance then the assumption is that you will be > > dancing with whoever, but most dances are not gender free. > > > > Janet > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: callers-boun...@sharedweight.net > > [mailto:callers-boun...@sharedweight.net] On Behalf Of Aahz Maruch > > Sent: Wednesday, April 03, 2013 11:43 AM > > To: Caller's discussion list > > Subject: Re: [Callers] Suggestions for particularly flirty contra dances? > > > > On Wed, Apr 03, 2013, Janet Bertog wrote: > > > > > > In my experience these dances increase the stress level, I would > > > recommend against calling them. > > > > Could you expand on that? > > -- > > Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6 > > http://rule6.info/ > > <*> <*> <*> > > Help a hearing-impaired person: http://rule6.info/hearing.html > > _______________________________________________ > > Callers mailing list > > call...@sharedweight.net > > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Callers mailing list > > call...@sharedweight.net > > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > > > > > > -- > David Casserly > (cell) 781 258-2761 > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > call...@sharedweight.net > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers >
