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Beautiful........
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Tuesday, September 21, 2004 3:08
PM
Subject: [may04]
Looking into the room I see him sleeping. A gorgeous little thing
with a beautiful smile and big blue eyes. I watch him closely to see the
rise and fall of his chest under his yellow afghan and his little striped
union suit. He's mine. My little angel. I want to hold him
close and take it all in. The time will fly too quickly. He won't
need me one day. But for now I encourage him to learn and grow and
change to move without me even when I don't want him to. While
inside my heart breaks a little with each new thing, each step he takes to be
his own person, it also swells with pride at this delightful little man
starting on the path to self discovery. One day he'll run and jump and
play with other kids and I'll watch. I won't be mommy or mama but mom or
mother. One day he'll tell me he hates me and I'll send him to his room
so I can cry. One day he'll kiss me back. One day he'll be so bad
I'll want to whip him. But one day I'll look back on him and realize my
boy is now a man and be proud of what I made...of what he becomes. I am
his mother and I will always be proud even when I shouldn't. I'll always
love him even when he's mean and angry and refuses to bathe. I'll always
love him because he's MY son and he can only be what I make him or shape him
into. Even though he depends on me for everything he relies on me to
teach him wrong from right, good from bad. I make my child into an image
of me by teaching him morals and the right kind of person to be. He will
use my values and morals to shape himself. I must be a good person so he
too will be. I will change myself into the kind of person I want my
child to be. Even though he can not sit or stand or walk, he cannot roll
or crawl or talk...I must be his voice for now.
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