Hi Michael, > I don't know if that is an honesty thing, I guess it is more > about disclosure.. or telling people things that you feel you > shouldn't have to.
Yes, I see openness and honesty being related but different. Honesty means that I believe everything I say. Openness means that I say every (relevant) thing I believe. Or something like that. > It is easy to say that we should all speak up when we don't > like something, but it is amazing how hard it is for many > people to do. I suspect a lot of it could be due to this > reason, a feeling that, well, these are my private thoughts > why do I have to share them? I'd rather frame it as: What are the consequences of sharing my thoughts? What are the consequences of keeping them private? Am I okay with those consequences? A key element of this for me is relevance. Which of my private thoughts are relevant to the purpose of the group (or the meeting, or the conversation)? What's more intriguing to me is when people have private thoughts that they choose not to express, even though they desperately wish /someone/ would say what they're thinking. A non-trivial percentage of my consulting and coaching is encouraging people to say those things, and helping them find safe ways to do that. There's an example about halfway down this page on the C2 wiki: http://www.c2.com/cgi/wiki?ScheduleStories The bottom line for me is to help people make better choices for themselves about what to disclose and what not to disclose. Often, people are keeping quite out of habit or out of unexamined fear, and at the same time they feel bad about keeping quiet. So I try to help them find ways to consider the consequences of both speaking up and keeping quiet. If after thinking about it they decide that silence is the right choice, then that's the right choice. If they decide to speak up, that too is the right choice. Dale -- Dale Emery, Consultant Collaborative Leadership for Software People Web: http://www.dhemery.com Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/cwd It's sometimes difficult to think clearly when you're strapped to a printing press. --Batman (consoling Robin) To Post a message, send it to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To Unsubscribe, send a blank message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ad-free courtesy of objectmentor.com Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/extremeprogramming/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
