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Self Help Books Weekly Newsletter - Week of November 17-18, 2004
Publishers:  David and Michelle Riklan - http://www.selfgrowth.com

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In this issue:

=> Sponsor of the Week
=> What�s New?  Self-Help NEW BOOK RELEASES � November 17-18, 2004
=> Self-Improvement Book Store
=> What Are People Reading?  AMAZON.com Top 5 BEST SELLERS for Self Help
=> Book Excerpt:  Dieting With the Duchess:  Secrets and Sensible Advice
for a Great Body � By Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York
=> Book Excerpt:  Mean Chicks, Cliques, and Dirty Tricks:  A Real Girl's
Guide to Getting Through the Day with Smarts and Style � By Erika V.
Shearin Karres, Ed.D.
=> Book Review:  Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay:  A Step-By-Step Guide
to Helping You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship �
By Mira Kirshenbaum
=> How to subscribe and be removed from this newsletter
=> How to recommend our newsletter to your friends

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** SPONSOR of the WEEK ** 
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* Improve Your Child's Practical Life Skills *
Teach your child personal development and emotional skills in a fun way
such as dealing with bullies, being assertive, facing fear, dealing with
strangers, and solving problems to name a few. Visit www.oikosglobal.com.


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Self-Help NEW BOOK RELEASES � November 17-18, 2004
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1)      Beautified:  Secrets for Women to Look Great and Feel Fabulous � By
Kyan Douglas
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1400081440/selfimprovemeonlA/

2)      Yoga of Time Travel: How the Mind Can Defeat Time � By Fred Alan Wolf,
Ph.D.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=083560828X/selfimprovemeonlA/

3)      Workouts from Boxing's Greatest Champs:  Get in Shape with Muhammad
Ali, Fernando Vargas, Roy Jones Jr., and Other Legends � By Gary Todd
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1569754438/selfimprovemeonlA/

4)      Chicken Soup for the Girlfriend's Soul:  Stories Celebrating the Magic
of Friendship � By Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Mark Donnelly,
Chrissy Donnelly, Stefanie Adrian
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0757301541/selfimprovemeonlA/


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*** AMAZON.com Top 5 BEST SELLERS for Self Help ***
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1)      He's Just Not That Into You:  The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding
Guys � By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo  
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=068987474X/selfimprovemeon1A/

2)      The Games Do Count: America's Best and Brightest on the Power of Sports
� By Brian Kilmeade
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0060736739/selfimprovemeonlA/

3)      The 8th Habit:  From Effectiveness to Greatness � By Stephen R. Covey
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0684846659/selfimprovemeonlA/

4)      The Rhythm of Life:  Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose � By
Matthew Kelly
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0743265106/selfimprovemeonlA/

5)      Who Moved My Cheese?  An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work
and in Your Life � By Spencer Johnson, Kenneth H. Blanchard (Foreword)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0399144463/selfimprovemeonlA/


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*** BOOK EXCERPT:  Dieting With the Duchess:  Secrets and Sensible Advice
for a Great Body � By Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York ***
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Part One: My Truths 

1. Free Your Mind and The Weight Will Follow 

I want to tell you that no matter how insurmountable your problems may
seem, you can change your life for the better. If I can do it, so can you.

In many ways, I feel everything finally came together for me last summer,
I went to Washington, D.C., to receive the first Journal of Women's Health
award from Bernadine Healy, M.D., the well-respected editor of the Journal
and the former head of the National Institutes of Health. When I went to
the podium to receive the award, I was truly moved. Here I was, being
recognized for what I call my truths: to help others and speak out for
those who don't have a voice.

As many people know, I wasn't always so strong or sure of myself and much
of that insecurity had to do with my weight. I have had a weight problem
practically all my life and I always will. But now, things are different
-- and they can be for you, too.

When I look back, I can clearly see the real problem with my weight began
at an age when my world should have only revolved around riding my beloved
horses. At 12 years of age, the world should be a thrilling and exciting
place, filled with endless possibilities. Yet when I was 12, it was
starting to crumble like a house of cards. Mum had just left for
Argentina. Although I always admired her and never blamed her for
following her heart, her absence left a tremendous hole. I ate to
compensate for that loss.

For years, I did the craziest things to lose weight, like the fad diets,
the vitamin pills, the fasts. By now, everyone has heard about the bizarre
meat and oranges diet, the one I lived on for weeks before my wedding.
I've always had a rebellious streak so my reaction to this behavior was,
"OK, fine, you don't like me like this, well, OK, then, I'll just eat
more." And I would eat and eat. On the outside I was defiant and
headstrong. On the inside I felt horrible and was terribly judgmental of
my body and myself.

I was on this weight roller coaster for years. When my marriage
disintegrated, I truly thought I couldn't handle much more: the press was
unrelenting, the British establishment was watching my every move and I
was heavily in debt. Looking back, I can see I was at the end of my rope.
I had finally reached rock bottom.

When Weight Watchers approached me to act as a spokesperson I was
surprised. Here I was, a single working mother who certainly had her share
of highs and lows, in life as well as with my weight. How could I motivate
others to take control of their lives when I was still struggling with
mine?

I had been on Weight Watchers before, when I was 19, and lost a good
amount of weight. I knew the program was safe, smart and effective. And I
believed in it. Truth is a big thing with me. I don't -- won't -- do
anything I don't believe in because it would be a lie. So, I thought if I
do this, follow the Weight Watchers 1*2*3 Success� Weight Loss Plan,
people just might say, "If she can do it, so can I." I said yes. That was
two years ago.

What have I discovered about the world and myself in the last two years?
I've learned a good deal about good nutrition, eating well, exercising and
the importance of having a support network. I get great satisfaction out
of helping others, whether it's through my charity work or my role as a
spokesperson for Weight Watchers.

I now understand that in the past I derailed because people expected me to
be something I was not. They wanted me to be demure and sit quietly and do
as I was told. Now I know I can't -- I won't -- be someone I am not. I'm
opinionated and spontaneous and, at times, difficult. I'm a redhead with a
bit of fire in her. I'm living my life as I see fit, despite what others
think or what the press say about me. Today, I'm living my life according
to my truth.

The list price for this book is $15.00.  To purchase it for $10.20 at a
32% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0684850087/selfimprovemeonlA/


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*** BOOK EXCERPT:  Mean Chicks, Cliques, and Dirty Tricks:  A Real Girl's
Guide to Getting Through the Day with Smarts and Style � By Erika V.
Shearin Karres, Ed.D. ***
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What Makes a Girl a Snob?
 
You see her cruising with her gal pals in her brand new convertible,
shopping at the most expensive stores, and getting away with murder at
school. The slightest glace toward her in the halls can either make your
day or ruin it, depending on her mood. Her hair is always perfect, her
clothes just right. She dates the cutest guys and has all of the teachers
wrapped around her finger. She has the best parties and the coolest
friends. You've just encountered�The Snob.
 
Dear Dr. Erika:
There's this girl in my class who thinks whenever she opens her big mouth
everybody better shut up and listen. And at lunch she sits at the best
table in the cafeteria, and woe! if you park there. She pitches a fit. She
actually gets her way in everything. Even the teachers are scared of her
and treat her different from the rest of us. Reina, 14

Dear Dr. Erika:
I dread my second period class. There's this girl who like brags about
everything. When she makes a good grade, she acts like she's the smartest.
When she has a birthday party, she goes like, There's never been another
party like mine. When she blabs about her family, they're like sooo rich!
And she cuts people and makes me feel like I'm dirt. Erica, 15

Sounds as if both Reina and Erica are dealing with a snob, sometimes
called a spoiled brat, other times called a brag, or name-dropper.

A close cousin to The Snob is The Name Dropper. She's a girl who might not
have been showered with gifts and doo-dads and tons of toys, but her
family brought in famous folks or maybe she used to go to kindergarten
with a President Kennedy relative or the child of a former neighbor of
President Bush. So instead of getting the roots of her self-esteem from
stuff, which Snob, Brat, and Brag did, the Name Dropper got hers from
association with famous names.
 
So, instead of focusing on things they can do to better themselves, the
Snob and her cousins focus on what they have-the latest Gucci bags, Dior
dresses, or Manolo Blahnik boots, and measure what others have (or don't
have) against their own possessions.
 
Don't be fooled by her exterior-it's very possible that stripped of her
fancy clothes or her friends, The Snob has the same insecurities as
everyone else. Even though she's sporting the latest Kate Spade bag or the
hottest new haircut as she prances down the halls with her entourage,
maybe she's worried about the fight she overheard her parents having the
night before, or the history quiz third period.
 
If you go around judging other girls as beneath you all the time, you
can't concentrate on what's most important--getting to be your personal
best. Chaka, 15
 
If you're making yourself feel better by ignoring other girls on purpose,
you obviously have not been feeling great. Annyce, 17

How true. The snob and her close cousins never seem to feel that great.
Why else do they act the way they do?
 
Isn't it a shame that some girls feel so low they have to raise themselves
up by making other girls feel low? Tierra, 18

Fact is, that no girl ever truly feels good inside when she's putting
other girls down. Sure, she may get a rush of "superiority" but it's only
temporary.
 
What you have got to do is look at yourself first and see what's wrong
with you before you criticize other girls and look down on them. Flora, 15

Having trouble believing that The Snob could ever have problems? Let's
take another look at Tierney.
 
Classes are over for the day. There's cheerleading practice and Tierney
and her friends report to the gym, but in no hurry.
 
She's on the squad; most of her many friends are not, but Tierney knows
that practice won't start until she shows up. That's just the way it has
always been.
 
Afterward practice, the girls all pile into her beemer and grab a latte
with skim milk at the Dairy Bar. Tierney drops her friends off one by one
and heads home. As he pulls into her driveway, she can tell that no one's
home by the absence of cars. Wow, for once she's all alone. Her girl buds
will come over later, naturally, like they do every day. But for the
moment the house is empty which is a weird feeling. She almost hates to go
inside, but she does.
 
Tierney kicks the front door shut, drops her books on a table, hurries
upstairs. She flops onto her bed for a moment, thinking about her day.
What to do now? She strides into her walk-in closet that's crammed with
the hottest clothes. Most everything has been worn only once. In one
corner sits a pile of shopping bags from brand-name stores that she hasn't
unpacked yet. Great: something to do.
 
As she hangs up the new jeans and sweaters, she runs her hand over them,
hoping to feel better. For a moment she remembers how life used to be
before her parents got divorced. They had time for her then. Mom wasn't
gone all the time; Dad used to call her "his girl" and they would do stuff
together. Now she sees him like twice a month. But hey, he just gave her
another credit card, with no limit--Tierney stops unpacking stuff and
calls her best friends. "Before pizza here, why don't we all meet at the
Nordstrom make-up counter?"
 
Tomorrow Tierney will come to school in yet another great outfit, her
fiends surrounding her as they talk about what happened after they ate the
pizza, giving other girls a "you don't count" stare.
 
Isn't the point of being popular to have friends? So why would you want to
make enemies by acting like you're too good for other girls? It's
senseless. Marie, 15
 
I felt I was not good enough for any of them. That's the way the other
girls were treating me. Mandee, 15

While it's so common for girls to feel this way, try not to be fooled. The
firefly is just an insect. Just know that the problem belongs to The Snob,
not to you. Condemn her behavior. Not her.
 
Underneath, she not be so different from you-she may be a real nice girl
just trying to emerge. Yet meanwhile you still have to suffer her actions.
Or do you?

The list price for this book is $8.95.  To purchase it for $8.06 at a 10%
discount from Amazon.com, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1580629334/selfimprovemeonlA/


---------------------------------------------------
*** BOOK REVIEW:  Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay:  A Step-By-Step
Guide to Helping You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your
Relationship � By Mira Kirshenbaum ***
---------------------------------------------------

Trying to make the agonizing decision whether to get out of a troubled,
potentially life-wrecking relationship is the specific ambivalence this
book addresses. The reader is offered a focused way to deal with one
critical issue at a time rather than sort endlessly through the whole
messy bundle of emotional pros and cons. Kirshenbaum's expertise allows
her to pinpoint the pertinent questions. The Boston psychotherapist, who
does relationship counseling, offers a series of them, amplified with
guidelines: "Power people poison passion"; "If your partner can't even see
what it is about him that makes you want to get out, it's time to get
out"; "If it never was very good, it'll never be very good." And threaded
through the book, which is written in a sympathetic, chatty, accessible
style, are validating anecdotes that dramatize how other people have
experienced and responded to the same problems the reader is going
through.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

The list price for this book is $13.95.  To purchase it for $11.16 at a
20% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0452275350/selfimprovemeonlA/


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