Oh dear, the old noddy boat chestnut.

My comment is this skit deliverer at this year's Ellesmere Port Easter
Gathering - An hommage to Cleese, Barker ^ Corbett's 3 classes sketches on
the Frost Report

Went down well with an hNBOC audience.

Enter 3 boaters - 
Upper - Tall, in waistcoat & trilby Middle is, well, medium, bare headed in
fleece and perhaps Gore-Tex Lower is short &, scruffy - Jeans & bobble hat
Upper
I am an Upper class Boater. I have an immaculately restored Josher motor
boat with a vintage engine and lots of brass
Middle
I am a Middle-class Boater. I have a floating cottage with all mod cons and
a mooring with mains services
Lower
I am a lower-class boater. I have a 20 foot cruiser with a seagull 2-stroke
outboard
Upper
I look down on them. My boat is the aristocrat of the waterways. The brass
is always dazzling, the ropework and fenders scrubbed immaculately
Middle
I look up to Him (Faces Upper) when I'm not dazzled by the brass and
ropework. I Look down on Him (Faces Lower) because I have a washing machine,
satellite TV and tons of comfort
Lower
I Know my place. My boat has two sleeping bags, a gas ring, a radio an elsan
and a shovel
Upper
I spend most of my boat time polishing and painting. I don't boat as much as
I'd like because the licence, mooring and maintenance cost so much I can't
afford the time and the diesel
Middle
I seldom go boating. None of my home comforts will work for more than 10
minutes away from the mains hook-up in the marina, and if I carried enough
batteries to run them my boat would draw more than His (Points to upper)
Lower
I know my place. I boat around all over the system. I can weekend my boat
from club to club and have a wonderful time. So while I look up to them in
terms of boats and comfort, I Look down on them (Other two bob down) because
I have more fun
Upper
My boat does 4 hours to the gallon......

.....Of Brasso
Middle
My boat does 4 hours to the gallon .....

.....of battery top-up water for the electricals
Lower
My boat does 4 days to the gallon of 2-stroke for the outboard 
All
We all love the cut. We keep it alive in our own ways, and we  all think
there's no such thing as a noddy boat - There aren't half some noddy boaters
about though

Exeunt


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