--------------53605F32EA7393EAFA181A93
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
<CFQUERY datasource="USA" name="election">
SELECT count(*) as count, party
FROM electors
GROUP BY party
</CFQUERY>
<CFSET lastguy=0>
<CFOUTPUT query="election">
<CFIF ABS(election.count - lastguy) LT 2800>
<CF_ReCount>
<CF_HandCount>
<CFIF lawyer.count GT 200>
<CFABORT>
</CFIF>
<CFELSE>
<CF_Electorial_College state=party>
<CFEXIT Poll>
</CFIF>
</CFOUTPUT>
- Michael Smith, TeraTech, Inc http://www.teratech.com/
Philip Arnold - ASP wrote:
> NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
>
> To the citizens of the United States of America,
> In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
> govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
> independence, effective today.
>
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
> over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which
> she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP
> for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world
> outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need
> for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A
> questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you
> noticed.
>
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
> rules are introduced with immediate effect:
>
> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
> look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
> just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
> your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
> twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
> know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
> "interspersed".
>
> 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
> your behalf.
>
> 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
> really isn't that hard.
>
> 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
> good guys.
>
> 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
> but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
> confused and give up half way through.
>
> 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
> football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
> game.
> The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
> may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
> longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
> Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
> game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
> (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for
> a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
> nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by
> 2005.
>
> 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
> they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there
> is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians
> have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "sh*t".
>
> 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
> national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
>
> 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
> own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
>
> 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
>
> Thank you for your cooperation.
>
> Philip Arnold
> ASP Multimedia Limited
> T: +44 (0)20 8680 1133
>
> "Websites for the real world"
>
> **********************************************************************
> This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
> intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
> are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
> the system manager.
> **********************************************************************
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> To Unsubscribe visit
>http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists&body=lists/cf_community or send
>a message to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with 'unsubscribe' in the body.
--
Michael Smith, TeraTech Inc
VB, CF , SQL, Math programming
100 Park Ave Ste 360, Rockville MD 20850 USA
Voice: +1-301-424-3903, 800-447-9120 Fax:301-762-8185
Web: http://www.teratech.com/sig/
Email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ICQ: 66057682
--------------53605F32EA7393EAFA181A93
Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
<!doctype html public "-//w3c//dtd html 4.0 transitional//en">
<html>
<CFQUERY datasource="USA" name="election">
<br>SELECT count(*) as count, party
<br>FROM electors
<br>GROUP BY party
<br></CFQUERY>
<p><CFSET lastguy=0>
<br><CFOUTPUT query="election">
<br> <CFIF ABS(election.count - lastguy) LT 2800>
<br> <CF_ReCount>
<br> <CF_HandCount>
<br> <CFIF lawyer.count GT
200>
<br>
<CFABORT>
<br> </CFIF>
<br> <CFELSE>
<br> <CF_Electorial_College
state=party>
<br> <CFEXIT Poll>
<br> </CFIF>
<br></CFOUTPUT>
<p>- Michael Smith, TeraTech, Inc <A
HREF="http://www.teratech.com/">http://www.teratech.com/</A>
<p>Philip Arnold - ASP wrote:
<blockquote TYPE=CITE>NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
<p>To the citizens of the United States of America,
<br>In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus
to
<br>govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
<br>independence, effective today.
<p>Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
<br>over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah,
which
<br>she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair,
MP
<br>for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is
a world
<br>outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the
need
<br>for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A
<br>questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any
of you
<br>noticed.
<p>To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
<br>rules are introduced with immediate effect:
<p>1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then
<br>look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed
at
<br>just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should
raise
<br>your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the
same
<br>twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and
"you
<br>know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look
up
<br>"interspersed".
<p>2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know
on
<br>your behalf.
<p>3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
It
<br>really isn't that hard.
<p>4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
the
<br>good guys.
<p>5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
<br>but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to
get
<br>confused and give up half way through.
<p>6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind
of
<br>football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
<br>game.
<br>The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
<br>may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will
no
<br>longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
<br>Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
<br>game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
<br>(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping
for
<br>a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
<br>nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens
side by
<br>2005.
<p>7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
if
<br>they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that
there
<br>is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The
Russians
<br>have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "sh*t".
<p>8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
<br>national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive
Day".
<p>9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
your
<br>own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we
mean.
<p>10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
<p>Thank you for your cooperation.
<p>Philip Arnold
<br>ASP Multimedia Limited
<br>T: +44 (0)20 8680 1133
<p>"Websites for the real world"
<p>**********************************************************************
<br>This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
<br>intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
<br>are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
<br>the system manager.
<br>**********************************************************************
<br>
<p>------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<br>To Unsubscribe visit <a
href="http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists&body=lists/cf_community">http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists&body=lists/cf_community</a>
or send a message to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with 'unsubscribe'
in the body.</blockquote>
<p>--
<br>Michael Smith, TeraTech Inc
<br>VB, CF , SQL, Math programming
<br>100 Park Ave Ste 360, Rockville MD 20850 USA
<br>Voice: +1-301-424-3903, 800-447-9120 Fax:301-762-8185
<br>Web: <A HREF="http://www.teratech.com/sig/">http://www.teratech.com/sig/</A>
<br>Email: <A HREF="mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]">mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]</A>
ICQ: 66057682
<br> </html>
--------------53605F32EA7393EAFA181A93--
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