A friend of mine sent me this a long time ago......he wishes he
didn't....the answer I sent him follows in a PART TWO email.

RULES THAT GUYS WISH GIRLS KNEW

1.  If you think you are fat, you probably are.  Do not ask us.  We refuse
to answer.

2.  Learn to work the toilet seat.  You're a big girl.  If it's up, put it
down.

3.  Do not cut your hair.  Ever.  Long hair is always more attractive than
short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

4.  Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can
find the perfect present yet again!

5.  If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
do not want to hear.

6.  Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

7.  Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8.  Sunday = sports.  It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

9.  Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

10.  When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

11.  You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

12.  Crying is blackmail.

13.  Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

14.  Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work. Strong hints do not work.  Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

15.  No, we do not know what day it is.  We never will.  Mark anniversaries
on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

16.  Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops.  What makes you think we'd
be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
dress?

17.  Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

18.  Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

19.  Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

20.  Check your oil. Please.

21.  Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.

22.  If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

23.  If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

24.  Let us ogle.  We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

25.  Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

26.  You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done,
not both.  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

27.  Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

28.  Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

29.  The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.  Like
THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better.

30.  ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.  Peach
for example is a fruit not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no
idea what mauve is.

31.  If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.

32.  We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

33. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.


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