This was my comeback....I fizzled out around 13, but if anyone wants to add
to the list feel free!
(sorry, it was such a tense weekend around here, I had to pull out the
arsenal of funies...)
Cheers, Erika
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Rules that *** MEN *** need to know....
1) If you think you are god's gift to women, think again.
2) No it's not small, you just don't know how to use it. And if you think
it's *big*, think again.
3) When you think we are faking it, we really aren't, we are thinking of the
soap opera guy.
4) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big boy. If it's up, put it
down, when you are done.
5) 3 day old stubble does not make you look like Indiana Jones.
6) We do not think of sex every minute of every day, just every other
minute. So get your timing right.
7) Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
8) Cutoff shorts and a holey t-shirt are not appropriate wear to a wedding.
(Unless it's Jimmy Buffet's)
9) Your ex-girlfriend (or ex-wife) is a slut.
10) Let the mechanic check your oil. Please. You do not have to prove you
are a man by killing your car.
11) Ditto on home improvement. Walls were meant to be straight.
12) Until you start dressing like James Bond, we won't even consider
dressing like the Victoria's Secret girls.
13) Sunday is for sports! Now stop asking me to cook for you!
14) Just because my paycheck is bigger than yours doesn't mean you aren't a
man.
And last but not least.....
15) Christopher Columbus did need directions. He did not set out to find
"America", he stumbled upon it like a jerk. He was looking for the "Indies"
remember!? (OK, so that was a good mistake, so what)
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