There's something wrong with this skit - they guys actually gets through to
Tech Support within 5 hours and doesn't need 3 days of waiting for
call-backs <g>
Philip Arnold
Director
Certified ColdFusion Developer
ASP Multimedia Limited
T: +44 (0)20 8680 1133
"Websites for the real world"
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> -----Original Message-----
> From: Adam Reynolds [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Sent: 08 August 2001 08:06
> To: CF-Community
> Subject: FW: If Star Wars was real
>
>
>
> Darth Vader took two giant strides toward the immense visiscreen that
> occupied the forward wall of the bridge of his flagship Imperial star
> destroyer.
>
> "I have them now," he rumbled. Whirling on the technicians cowering at
> their consoles, Vader snapped, "Tractor beam!"
>
> "Yes, Lord Vader," replied one, bending attentively to his task. Then he
> looked up hesitantly. Vader gestured dramatically at the screen,
> indicating
> the fleeing spacecraft.
>
> "I want a tractor beam on that ship," he declared. "Now!"
>
> The technician busied himself with switches and dials.
>
> "Where's that tractor beam?" roared Vader, his voice dark with menace.
>
> The other technicians turned frightened eyes on their peer. They knew what
> happened when Darth Vader's instructions weren't executed instantly.
>
> "The tractor beam seems to be down, sir," quavered the technician.
>
> "What do you mean down?" Vader inquired with a disturbing silkiness to his
> voice.
>
> "It's not accepting commands, sir," the technician explained.
>
> Another technician leaned over and examined the console. "That's odd. The
> beam itself is showing green," he pointed out.
>
> "Yes, I know," agreed the first.
>
> "But I'm not getting any acknowledgment to my 'Engage' command."
> He pressed
> a button several times to demonstrate.
>
> "Maybe the network's down again," suggested a third technician.
>
> "Oh, that could be," admitted the first technician. "The network might be
> down, Lord Vader," he informed the large black figure trembling with rage.
>
> "What network?" Vader asked ominously.
>
> The second technician jumped in. "Since we've moved to a distributed
> architecture on the Imperial star destroyers, everything is on a network.
> It was felt that the direct connections were too unreliable."
>
> The third technician added. "The tractor beam is on one of the peripherals
> sub networks, with the printers and the scanners. It's not on the main
> weapon network."
>
> "Why isn't the tractor beam on the weapons network?" asked Vader, now more
> puzzled than angry.
>
> The technicians exchanged sheepish looks. It was embarrassing to have to
> point out something so obvious to a superior. The second
> technician cleared
> his throat. "Well, sir, the weapons network is a higher priority. It makes
> more sense to put the less commonly used systems on a separate sub network
> that has lower QOS."
>
> "QOS?" Vader queried.
>
> "Hang on a second," said the first technician. "If the network is
> down, how
> come we're getting a green light for the tractor beam?"
>
> The third technician brightened. "Ah! Maybe the console is retrieving old
> MIB data and displaying that."
>
> "MIB?" rumbled Vader.
>
> The first technician answered "We use SNMP to monitor the network
> elements.
> When the server queries the element, it stores its current status. If the
> network goes down, it can't query the element anymore, and all you
> have is the latest status in the MIB." He turned to the other technicians,
> musing. "We really should have an indicator of when the last successful
> query was, instead of just a green or red light."
>
> "Good idea," said the third technician. "I'll call tech support."
>
> "Say," said the second technician. "How about if we ping the
> tractor beam?!
> Let me bring up a telnet window."
>
> "Telnet?" asked Vader, now obviously confused. "Ping?"
>
> The first technician glanced briefly at Vader, a little annoyed at the
> interruptions. Why couldn't this guy keep up with the service bulletins?
>
> "The system runs Unix, but the consoles run NT 5000," he replied with
> exaggerated patience. "You need a telnet window to ping the element." He
> turned his attention back to the screen. "That's strange. It comes back
> 'active'.
>
> Listen, when you get tech support tell them we can't engage the
> tractor but
> we can ping it."
>
> "Right," said the third technician. "I'm still on hold."
>
> "Here's a thought," said the second technician. "What if we just call the
> guys down at tractor control and have them engage the beam manually?"
>
> Vader seemed to brighten up at this, and swivelled his head from one to
> another.
>
> "Good idea," said the first technician. He lifted his communicator and
> tapped the switch several times. "Nothing," he said.
>
> The second technician shook his head. "Didn't we tell them we couldn't do
> voice and data with that little
> bandwidth?"
>
> Suddenly Vader noticed the visiscreen and let out a bellow of anger.
>
> "They're gone!" he boomed.
>
> The third technician looked up smiling. "Hey, I got tech support!"
>
>
>
>
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